Adventures of an Anbu Trainee
by BarelyProdigies
Summary: Read along as Naruto has joined the Anbu trainee program. Follow as his squad of himself, Shino Aburame, Neji Hyuga, and Rock Lee take missions across the Elemental Nations to join the illustrious Anbu program. Check out Sage's AMV Corner where at the end of each chapter I offer Naruto AMVs: the good, the bad, and the hilarious AMVs you most likely will be too lazy to look up...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys and esteemed ladies (fingers-crossed!), this is BarelySage with my first fic, unlike BarelyGhost I will for the time being writing less serious fics just because that's how I am. By the way I have no connection to any AMVs I suggest other than I am a viewer like any other person.**

**Enjoy!**

**Adventures of an ANBU Trainee**

**Prologue **

It had been two and a half years since the betrayal of Saskue Uchiha and in his wake he left a normally bright blonde haired and blue eyed ninja feeling as if his whole world was crashing down around him since the one he called friend left with only a scar on his chest to remember him by.

Now that once bright ninja has return to the village he calls home after his two and half year training trip in order to both gain the strength and the experience he needs in order to bring his best friend back. We now find our hero in the prestigious office of the fire shadow…

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"Oi! Baa-chan!" was all Naruto could yell out as he burst through the door before he had to suddenly duck under the large book she threw at him.

"Don't call me that brat I thought I told you that plenty of times!" no matter how true that maybe they always enjoy this back and forth well until someone got hurt which always ended up to be Naruto.

"Listen here Baa-chan!" he says as he slams his hands onto the Hokage's desk

"I need some real missions so I can get Sasuke back, not do these boring missions like escort duty or watching the gate!"

"Is that so?" Tsunade says with a raised eyebrow but there was a glint of amusement in her eyes as she decided to set her plan in motion

"Are you absolutely sure Naruto?"

"Yeah Baa-chan!" Naruto could barely hold back his excitement as he was practically bouncing on his toes

"Well I can't say that I did not warn you. _(sigh) _Alright Anbu clear out." With one handsign all the Anbu left the office with absolute skill and precision.

"Naruto come here" She gestured with her hand over to the locked filing cabinet in the corner of the room. After biting her thumb the blood seal unlock and revealed many classified files only to be seen by the Hokage.

_Man baa-chan is serious about this_ he thought while being both nervous and excited at the same time because of all this ceremony

_Maybe she is making Hokage right now!_ Now Naruto was about to yell this out until Tsunade seemed to read his mind

"No Naruto I'm not making you Hokage." She said with seriousness but you could see a smirk on her face

_Maybe one day Naruto…_

"Ahh here it is" Tsunade then pulls out a file stamped with the words: "_Anbu Trainees_".

"YOU'RE MAKING ME JOIN ANBU BAA-CHAN!" Naruto yells out so loud that it shakes the glass; he then proceeded to fall to the ground thanking the ramen gods starting with his favorite miso then pork then chicken then… well let's just say this went on for a while until Tsunade had enough.

"BE QUIET BRAT!" she roared as as she slamed down her fist on Naruto's bowed head leaving a face print of Naruto in the floor.

"Ow what does this mean if I am not joining Anbu then?" he said after trying to rub away the pain from his face

"Well if you had waited for me to actually say something after I pulled out the file" Naruto then just mumbled about old angry hags getting too crazy in their old age. Tsunade gained a tick mark on her face as she sat down at her desk. Brushing that remark off she then began her reason why she started all of this.

"Naruto you are half right. Eventually you will join Anbu but for now you will be entered into its trainee program at the end of it you will be put on mock Anbu missions but not as a full Anbu member but listen to me when I say this! They are still real missions with real clients and real consequences for failure." She finished with a very serious tone. Naruto now realizing the full weight of the conversation nods his head in agreement. Seeing this she continues to explain the program.

"The program is split into two parts training and missions. The training lasts for six months…" was all she could say before she got interrupted by Naruto.

"I don't have six months for this!" Tsunade just held her hand up while her glare seemed to grab his soul whispering to it: _shut the hell up before you die._

"(_cough_) As I was saying, the training lasts six months which will put the above average chunin and jounin up to par with Anbu standings, this includes elemental testing and stealth tactics for undercover missions." At this Naruto began to see the full picture of what his baa-chan was putting him through.

"The missions are based mostly on uncover work in the beginning then later on you will use your experience to be gain information without having to directly interact with the target to get what you need" Naruto was now imaging himself behind a bush reading minds of whoever passed by and then getting Sakura to declare her love for him as he slashes through his enemies in his Anbu outfit and then…

"Naruto. Naruto. Naruto wake up focus!" she said while snapping her fingers breaking Naruto away from his fantasy.

"Alright Baa-chan I'm ready to do this where do I sign up!"

"Naruto this is serious you need to be ready to face all the challenges up ahead or you land flat on your ass and I will not take your whining!"

"I am completely serious. I will do whatever it takes to come out on the other side of this and be a part of Anbu." Looking at him with a steely gaze to see if he would crack she eventually let up and sighed knowing he would not quit until he was successful.

_Then again that would be the Naruto I know._

"Ok then the program will start in one week under the T&I center in the Anbu bunker; there you will eat, sleep, and live until you are ready for your missions with your squad."

"Wait, what do you mean squad?" He said curiously since he thought he would be doing solo missions.

"Oh I guess I missed that part, well three others have also decided they wanted to be a part of this program to advance their skills and luckily you should already know them."

"That's awesome who am I going to working with?" meanwhile he was imaging seeing Sakura in a sleek Anbu outfit and then in the middle of mission where he was slashing through his enemies she would confess her love for him and then they would…

"Naruto! That is the last time you will ignore me while I'm talking! Anyways your squad mates are none other than Shino Aburame, Neji Hyuga, and Rock Lee."

"Wait what!? I mean I get that Shino and Neji are always super quiet but bushy brow? He is even worse than me at stealth!"

"Well his reason was for joining was: "_I too shall join so that my flames of youth will roar even higher than that of my eternal rival's!_" needless to say he is all in while the other two have their own personal reasons for joining."

_Well it's better than doing this with no one I know_

"Ok Baa-chan let's get started!" Naruto says full of confidence while Tsunade just looks happy seeing him that way.

"Then let's see what you are made of Naruto."

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**Omake- What Sasuke Really Lacks to Kill Itachi**

Slammed up against the wall of the hotel, young Sasuke struggles to escape the death grip of his older brother after his failed attempt at killing him. Itachi whispers in his ear:

"Foolish little brother…why are you so weak?" he then leans in even more while tightening his grip around sasuke's neck

"…because you lack…"

"WAFFLE CRISPS!" Itachi says out loud while dropping Sasuke and holding up a box of his favorite ninja cereal for all to see. He then turns back to Sasuke with a stern face.

"You haven't been eating a balanced breakfast since I left, haven't you!"

"How is that **MY** fault? You took the last box! (And you killed our clan)"

Meanwhile Naruto is examining the cereal box while Kisame is trying to maintain some form of dignity for him and his partner while hearing their continued argument.

"You couldn't buy more? Are you truly **that** weak!?"

"You took all of the money too you cereal eating psycho!"

"Hmmm is this really part of a balanced breakfast" Naruto said while closely reading the box.

"Actually you know I have never seen Itachi-san eat cereal…"

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**Sorry the prologue was pretty boring so I added in a small omake at the end to make it better. The following chapters will get into the missions and such.**

**Thanks for reading and if you want to shoot an idea as to what missions this top-notch team should tackle leave it in a review.**

**-BarelySage**

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**Sage's AMV Corner!**

So here we are welcome to Sage's AMV Corner where I give you guys some AMVs to watch and review. Since this is the first time I'm doing this I thought I would give an intro to the AMVs so here it is.

INTRO

Alright that was awesome so here are the top AMVs for this chapter.

**The Good: [Naruto AMV] – Setsujoku Revolution – by Luciole AMV**

- This is my favorite AMV of all time for reasons you will have to see for yourself but trust me when I say you will not understand most of it unless you happen to speak fluid Japanese but it is still a great AMV to watch I give it a 10 out of 10.

**The Bad: TenTen – In the End (Linkin Park) – by … **(seriously … is his name)

- Just everything imaginable that could go wrong went wrong with this AMV. From the random crap just put on to the wrong song choice. I like Tenten I do but to make this ehh I just going to shake my head at this and try to forget this ever happened. NOT for Tenten fans and Neji especially Neji don't tell him or he might kill him or it that made this.

**The Funny: Naruto Fergalicious by Naruto For the Win **

- I could not stop laughing at this AMV its just ridiculous but it is well made and as I listen to it now the nostalgia is making it too damn hard to write this review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys and classy ladies this is the first real chapter in the series hope you enjoy; by the way kudos to whoever can guess the movie reference made in the chapter. I don't own the AMVs I write about, I am just an admirer of the art.**

** -Sage**

**Adventures of an ANBU Trainee**

**Chapter 1- The Farm**

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Flash-forward 6 months

It had been a long time coming for this team, months of hard work formed this perfect team; they were the most effective squad in ANBU so far and had gained everyone's respect. Team Alpha was now kneeled before ANBU captain Lion waiting to be dismissed after yet another successful mission.

"Rise" said Lion after reading the report on the mission in the Land of Grass.

"Excellent work Alpha team, another one for the books" indeed he was happy that his A team was doing so well in the field.

"Now you should…" was all he could say before Naruto and his team of trainee's barreled through the door looking as if they were caught with their hand in the cookie drawer.

"It was unreasonable for all of us to be up against the door." Said Shino in his monotone voice as if he were saying the most obvious thing in the world.

"Shove it! We are supposed to get our first mission but _Alpha team_ is taking soooo long let's get on with it. I mean we all get it 'oh alpha team you're the greatest thanks for saving my cat from a fire lets go make a parade for you guys' bah they probably couldn't take us on!"

"Um Naruto they are still here" said Lee while pointing to the still kneeled team in front of Lion meanwhile Neji was trying to rub away the strong head ache he was having due to all this tomfoolery.

"You are dismissed meet again tomorrow bright and early; I have another important mission for you." Lion stated while attempting to ignore the intrusion. Alpha team all nodded and left without a sound making extra sure to wipe it in the trainees' faces.

"Alright you trainees front and center" he said with a no nonsense tone. Quickly all four stood at attention. They all were excited for their first mission some definitely more excited than others

_This is it finally one more step to being Hokage and getting him back_ Naruto thought excitedly.

_Yosh! Time for everyone to see my flames of youth explode! _Lee also very excited.

_(Sigh) Lets just get this over with I'm ready to get away from these guys after so long _Neji thought tiredly.

…_bugs…_ Shino thought absentmindedly.

"Now all of you have shown good improvements over the last six months so I think you are ready for your first mission."

"Well almost all of you…" The ANBU captain let that sentence hang as all eyes turned to Rock Lee's back which was now holstering a blunt and pretty much useless katana.

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Flashback 2 hours ago

Deep in the heart of the ANBU Bunker there is an area made for the trainees so they can place their stuff in desks and as they all were clearing out Rock Lee was the last one left to leave.

"Yooo Trainee Bitch." greeted an ANBU figure wearing a bear mask.

"Yeah Trainee Bitch" said another ANBU figure wearing a fish mask.

"Hey guys I don't actually like that name I know you guys think it's funny but I don't like that name" said Rock Lee.

"What you working on? Something youthful?" said Fish while grabbing some papers off Lee's desk.

"Actually I was working on some poems for Sakura-chan! So I will take that back now." he replied taking the paper back from Fish.

"Ahh" said Bear

"Specifically Haiku" Lee replied

"You know some of the other ANBU have been talking and um they were like 'how come you have never used your katana in the office before'" Bear said

"Good point" Fish agreed with Bear.

"I'm sorry I don't follow you" replied Lee

"You never used your weapon in the office"

"We all have you know it's called a desk slice" chimed in Fish

"Listen guys…I know you don't respect me as an ANBU officer…"

"Not true"

"But I'm not going to take out my katana use it in the office."

"Lee listen to me I'm going to make this real clear we honor the village and you crap on it when you don't use your katana in the office."

"Lizard! When was the last time you did a desk slice?" said Bear talking to Lizard who was across the room.

"…September last year" Lizard replied confidently after thoughtful consideration.

"Be a man do this please…"

"Come on pull it out and cut it up!" encouraged Bear

"Yeah come on cut it up!"

"Don't think just go do it!"

"Alright here we go." Said Lee with a smile thinking he was going to be popular with the others after this.

"Do it yes"

Lee pulls out his katana and slices his desk up which caused the part of the ceiling it was connected to, fall to the floor exposing the women's shower room.

"Oh man he actually did it" said Bear to Fish and Lizard as they were laughing so hard at Lee's expense.

"Oh shit what's going on here!" yelled Naruto as he sprinted in while staring at a soaked Lee incredulously, during which everyone else already had their katana out poised to take action.

"Hey Naruto! Hey Naruto I just did my first desk slice!" Lee said elatedly forgetting how soaked he really was.

"It's a real thing right?" Lee said now wondering what is going on.

"A DESK SLICE!? NO that's not real!" Naruto yelled at Lee while Neji just shook his head while everyone else withdrew their blades.

"They were so convincing in their argument. They swung me." Lee replied not fully grasping the seriousness of what he just did.

Now looking at the hole in the ceiling, ANBU captain Lion then looks back at a dejected Rock Lee sitting down with his blade in the holster.

"Lee I'm going to need your katana"

"Yes sir." He said sadly.

"Captain you really want to disarm this guy take away all the weight equipment he has." Naruto said while Lee handed over his weapon to the captain.

"Alright I'm going to give you this." Lion said while holding a blunt wooden katana.

"This is a dummy katana; they use this for ceremony." he continued while handing over the blade (if you could even call it that).

"You get this back (holding up the katana) when I feel you know how to handle it." Lion said while both Naruto and Lee just sighed in frustration.

"Listen guys I'm working two jobs; here and I have another job as a manager at Bed, Bath and Beyond in the village, ok. I am doing that just to put a kid through the academy so he can explore his love of waffle crisps and become a DJ. Now the last thing I need is a katana report in the unit so I am going to ask you guys 'come on now really?' just think about it, just be smart" Lion finished, then walks away leaving Lee holding onto the wooden katana.

Flashback End

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"Anyways now back to the task on hand your first mission will be to investigate a believed drug operation deep in the land of Fire" Lion then took out four folders with the same information and handed to each of them.

"They are disguising themselves as a cattle farm in a valley plateau about a three days sprint from the village."

"Sir not to be rude but this seem to be the type of job a genin team could do." Naruto butted in.

"Not so fast, flip to the next page." Lion stated

"What is that sir?" Lee said worriedly

"That is why a genin or even a chunin team cannot be assigned to this mission and was handed to us directly from the Hokage herself."

"Those gentlemen are chakra sensing rods that are used to sense and alert any use of chakra in the fields encompassed in them." Lion said while holding up a picture of a slim metal rod with blue lining staked into the ground

"But wouldn't those rods bring suspicion to their operation?" Shino asked

"They did but when asked by the local police they stated they were for protection from rogue ninja who can easily take their cows away much faster than regular bandits therefore getting them off the hook so to speak from local law enforcement."

"Well how come they hired the village for the job then?"

"A concerned mayor of the town nearby came to us because there have been rising reports of drug usage in his town and the police just can't seem to keep up so rather than hiring a regular squad to help enforce the law…"

"They want us to get rid of the source." Finished Neji

"Right so your mission is to successfully infiltrate the farm, collect evidence of their drug production and capture the criminals then proceed to hand them over to local law enforcement."

"But sir why not just get rid of them"

"Because dead men tell no tales meaning we won't know if there is more to this than just a bunch of guys getting together and selling drugs and not a higher man on the ladder."

"How are we supposed to get past the chakra rods captain?" Naruto asked

"I am positive you guys will figure it out. Now you leave in four hours grab whatever you need and meet at the exit three of the bunker when you are done."

"Alright then let's get to work. OK everyone hands in!" Naruto exclaimed. Lee quickly put his hand on top of Naruto's hand while Neji just walked off to get ready and the Shino who was standing right there fell apart into a horde of bugs signifying he left as soon as the Captain dismissed them.

"Alright go team!" Naruto yelled out while he and Lee had their hands in the air

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4 Hours Later

Naruto and his team were waiting for the final sendoff for his team from the captain by exit three when Naruto decided to break the silence.

"Look guys I know that I'm nervous about this since it's very important to not just me but also all of you guys but I want you all to know something."

"What?" said Neji whom was looking out the window seeming lost.

"That no matter what happens on the mission we watch each other's backs and that we give it our all" he said getting nods from the other guys.

"Well you look ready for your first mission together since entering the program." Said Lion seeming to phase into existence from nowhere.

"Alright get there, fulfill the parameters of your mission and return promptly. It should take just over a week and a half to do this mission."

"Lee, Shino, Neji let's go" Naruto said firmly

"Good Luck." Lion said leaving with a smile behind his mask

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Three Days Later

Finally reaching the location they are all crouch on the ridge overlooking the seemingly empty plateau except for the herd of cows, the barn, and the humble two story ranch house overlooking the entire field. While they were observing they noticed that the field seemed to always be full of people doing mundane tasks but in actuality they were sentries protecting the area and on the lookout for anything suspicious judging by the weapons they were carrying. Naruto then turned to Neji to ask him to look for the rods when he noticed he was distracted.

"Neji what's wrong?" he asked with genuine worry

"Well it's um…it's nothing"

"Seriously tell us if this will affect you to perform this mission or not"

"No of course not…but (sigh) fine I will tell you what is wrong. Looking at this field brings my back to my childhood."

"Alright that's fine as long as you get back on track."

"I was a young boy."

"Neji its fine shut up."

"I think I was only 7 or 8 at the time."

"Neji!"

"Naruto we have to let Neji vent or else this mission will not be able to start." Lee said knowing how long winded he was.

"(sigh) fine keep going Neji."

"Thank you well…

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Flash-back 10 Years Ago

A young Neji Hyuga was shoe-less, wearing jeans, a cowboy hat and had a piece of straw hanging out of his mouth as his stared at the cattle.

_One day I will become the greatest rancher in the Leaf Village surpassing the Nara clan and their dumb deer_. You see Neji as a young boy had aspirations to become a wrangler before becoming a ninja but as fate would have it today was the day that would all change.

"Neji! Neji where are you?" His father had been worried for him since he was supposed to start his taijutsu lessons and yet he was nowhere to be found.

"Neji there you are. What are you wearing? What happen to the Hyuga robes I gave you?"

"Tou-san I have decided to become a cattle rancher since that is my dream and I feel here is where I am one with the universe."

Hizashi meanwhile was dumbfounded with every word his son spoke.

_Where did I go wrong and furthermore where in the world did he learn about all this stuff!_

"NO! I mean (cough) Neji you have responsibilities you have to fulfill for the clan so you cannot become a rancher."

"But tou-san!"

"Absolutely not come on we have to begin your lessons."

Dragging away a teary eyed Neji, Hizashi stormed off heading back to the Hyuga compound trying to figure out what lead his son to do this. Neji, however could not look at another farm without crying which creating his obsession of fate until Naruto broke him out of it.

Flash-back End

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There was not a dry eye on that ridge as Naruto, Lee, and even Shino were crying by the end of his story wondering how Neji was able to go on with his life.

"(Sniff) Neji we are so sorry for not caring before. I had no idea what you went through all that in your childhood." Naruto was able to say between his sobs.

"It is fine now just being here brought bad memories that's all hold on." Neji then activated his byakugan, and wiped a tear away from his eyes, to find the rods around the plateau hidden in the tall grass.

"Alright there are exactly 16 rods located around the field surrounding the house, barn, and cattle."

"Shino can your bugs get them out of the ground so we can just go in and surprise them."

"I had already have tried that but the rods have a built in electric defense so none of the cattle will be able to ruin them."

"Damn, alright time for plan B since they are too far apart to let Lee sprint around and get them in time before they catch on and destroy the evidence. Luckily I was prepared for this situation."

"Since we can't henge or else the rods will go off I have brought these" Naruto then pulled out four sets of cow costumes.

"You cannot be serious there is no way anyone of us will wear this…" Neji could not finish his sentence since both Lee and Naruto were already in their suits and were practicing their grazing technique.

"No Lee you have to let it hang out of your mouth for a while then slowly chew on it."

"Ahh yes I see it now. Yosh! I shall be the most youthful cow ever and make Guy-sensei proud!" Lee replied now with a fire in his eyes as he began to quickly eat the grass around him

"Absolutly Not!" Neji yelled at both getting their attention

"You are doing it all wrong you need to always on all four and…" while Neji was lecturing them on how to be a proper cow Shino was having his own thoughts about this mission

_Why did I end up doing this it is illogical to be a cow, I would rather be a bug and be done with this._

After a half an hour of getting their grazing technique down all four were in there cow outfits ready to go into the plateau and begin their mission.

"Alright now that night has fallen, we should move out and get into positon now. Alright communicate over the radios to get in front of the rods and use the rubber gloves hidden away in the udder to safely remove the rods. My shadow clones will get the rest of them around the field and remove them all at the same time leading them all outside. From there we will knock them out and look for evidence of a drug lord running the operation."

"Alright any questions?"

"Nice plan but how are we going to prove that they are the one's producing the drugs" Lee brought up

"We have that covered as Neji was getting the coordinates for the rods he found a large manufacturing line under the house while they hold the product in the barn and will most likely have the information we are after."

"Alright any more questions? None good we will go active at dawn."

"Let's **Moooo**ve out!" Lee yelled out hoping everyone got the joke. They did but before he could get a high five they had already left to sneak into the plateau leaving him hanging until he also decided to go.

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As the sun was rising everyone was confirming their positions next to the rods. Luckily finding the rods was easier than expected since the rods naturally light up blue to detect chakra and with Neji's coordinates all the squad mates and shadow clones made it and were ready to pull them at the same time and begin their assault, however they now had to confirm their location before acting.

"Yosh this is Slim Jim here in position to youthfully re**moo**ve this rod."

"Lee stop this nonsense we are being serious here." Neji replied sternly

"Yeah Lee stop **prodding** Neji we have to **hoof** it out of here if it all goes south." Naruto replied while snickering

"Naruto, Lee I believe you have **milked **this enough please don't **udder** another pun." Shino decided to jump in since it was clearly logical to have fun with Neji

"Guys get serious everyone in position?"

"Yosh Slim Jim confirmed."

"Ramen Lover confirmed believe it!"

"Yes Bug's Life confirmed."

"(_sigh_) Sour Milk confirmed." Neji said tiredly wondering why he allowed himself to be called that meanwhile Lee and Naruto were dying in their cow suits.

"Alright remember as soon we remove the rods wait until they leave to go check on the rods. Ready? Go!"

At that time all the rods were removed at once eliminating the alarm from activating over the field but the one inside of the house went off as a fail-safe sending all the bandits out into the fields. Once they came out the squad jumped them and disabled them all only leaving the leader left. Now standing over him were four teens in cow costumes celebrating their first success.

"Yosh that was kind of boring they were not a challenge."

"Yeah I agree with Lee these guys sucked."

"Naruto not all missions are going to be as easy as this was. We still have to find out the leader and go report to the local authorities."

"Fine I will send a shadow clone to go and confirm both capture and payment."

"Good Naruto lets go and investigate."

The squad then went inside the house and found the secret entrance to the drug manufacturing line and were now looking for any connections to a bigger producer. Now rummaging through the office Naruto was looking around for a private safe and found it behind the leader's painting of the plateau they were on.

"Guys come into the office I think I found something!"

"Is this the private safe?" Lee asked

"I'm pretty sure but since it is so small I don't believe we should use an explosive tag to open it up. Alright Shino go to work."

Shino understood what he meant and started sending his bugs to start eating through the safe lock. He finished a few minutes later and the safe swung open revealing a folder containing the illegal business's accounts and transactions. As the squad was looking through they found a connection to a Cloud Village official going by the name Shiki Houraisan. He seemed to be the one behind other drug production "farms" all in the land of Fire making a large lucrative salary on the side.

"You guys see what I am seeing?" Naruto asked in disbelief

"Yes, as of right now we need to prevent the local law officials from making a public arrest or else this will spread to the other "farms" and make Shiki go into hiding." Shino deduced from the information

"Right now we need to also act quickly and present this to the captain before the trail gets any colder." Neji stated with a firm tone

"Alright first let's collect all the information we can grab here, talk with the police force, and get out of here and back to the village quickly." Naruto then made a handsign and created shadow clones to help strip the place for any more information on Shiki. Within an hour they got everything they could from both the house and the barn they could use to track down Shiki Houraisan; afterwards Naruto talked with the police force explaining the severity of the situation and told them to keep these arrests from the public until they were told to release the information to the press of their town.

"We are done here move out." Naruto said and they all started the three day trip back to the village.

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Three Days Later

Looking up from the folder with the intelligence gained from his rookie trainee team; Lion looked at the tired faces of the team after their multi-day travel back. Thinking this assignment should be handed over to a more experienced team since this would be above their current level.

_Then again they were the best team to have come out of the program and they handled the situation well even though the use of the cow costumes was…creative. Alright fine we shall see how they do with a real mission._

"Good job out there, now do not interrupt me until I have finished." Lion got nods from the entire squad so he continued.

"After a review of your performance I have decided to promote you all for the remainder of this mission so you will be able to follow this lead out of the Fire Country. However that promotion is only to grant you the approval to take missions outside the country and operate in foreign territories." After his short speech Naruto and his team could not believe it they were going to be able to track this guy down and get promoted! What could have been better after only one mission!

"Now that the excitement has passed you have to figure out how you will approach this mission within a few days and then immediately head out before the news of the drug raid reaches Shiki Houraisan's ears and 'goes on vacation for a while' and this all blows over."

"Yes Sir!" replied all with their pride showing from being praised by their captain

"Now before you guys get a big head over this I still have the pictures you collected from the raid which includes all of you guys in the cow costumes and I am sure a certain blonde Hokage would love to have her hands on them."

_Baa-chan would never stop making fun of me and if Ero-Sensei gets a hold of those pictures..._ Naruto started to sweat profusely as did the others since it would be embarrassing for anyone to see those pictures.

"No captain we will defiantly keep our pride in check" Naruto spoke up for his team

"Ok then well then Team Gamma will rest for a couple days and then report for strategy planning the next day."

"Yes Sir!"

"You are dismissed."

After their dismissal the team was ready to go to soak in the bathhouse and then go home.

"This is awesome guys we already being promoted and now we get to go catch a big fish."

"Yosh this will definitely show our flames of youth!"

"Yes indeed logically this is our time to prove Team Gamma."

"Neji you ok? You have been quite awfully quiet."

"It's nothing just think about where I want to go eat."

"Let's get some ramen!"

"No I was thinking about getting sushi."

Naruto then suddenly stop moving and thought about the mission and the information they found about Shiki when he suddenly remembered a key piece of information about him.

"Naruto. Naruto! What did you just think of" Lee said when he noticed Naruto's big smile

"So do any of you guys know how to make sushi?"

"Yeah it is pretty easy some raw fish, rice, and some seaweed; roll it up and it that's it." replied Neji wondering where he was going with this.

"I think I know our way into the Cloud Village and how to get close to Shiki Houraisan…"

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**And that's that sorry but no omake here. Thanks for reading along and I hoped you liked it. **

** -Sage**

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**Sage's AMV Corner!**

Alright let's get down to it.

IT

Awesome so without further ado here are my top AMVs for the chapter.

**The Good: [Shippuden AMV] World so Cold by konradsob123**

** - **This AMV is in one word: Cinematic. This was so well crafted I literally applauded at the end of it like I did at the end of the third High School Musical. But seriously props to konradsob123 for this AMV. From the music to the editing I give it two thumbs up.

**The Bad: Tsunade- Drop it Low by Rye Icon**

- One Tsunade never dropped it low so massive points lost but seriously the tribute was awful because of the bad editing, the music was just a poor choice, and it tried too hard to either be bad or funny I honestly can not tell.

**The Funny: Akatsuki – Womanizer by sahiar1**

- From the moment I loaded the page I knew I had a great choice for this chapter's AMV. The editing is good to where it makes it funny but it does not clutter up the video and if you are looking up material about the oversexualization of anime characters look no further because there is no way you could not stand against the injustice of having Kisame as a sex symbol unless…you are into that.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Naruto or any AMVs I suggest. Drop in the reviews what songs you think I used in this chapter. Those that get it correct will get a metaphorical cookie and I will check out what is on your profile unless you are not into that I show you mine, then you show me yours stuff…ugh middle school.**

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**Adventures of an ANBU Trainee**

**Chapter 2- The Sushi House**

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_Last Time on Adventures of an ANBU Trainee…_

"Ugh! I can't believe you dad!" said Emily as she threw open the door to the living room now glaring at her dad who was looking over the newspaper he was reading to meet his angry daughter's eyes.

"What did I do to my princess?" He responded incredulously wondering why of all the reactions he expected he never imagined she would be angry at him for what he did.

"It is RED!" now he was definitely confused.

"The brand new car I got you for your 16th birthday is red, yes. What about it?"

"It's not PINK! Daddy I said I wanted it in pink!" Now her dad was ready to jump out of the seat to reprimand her when she continued on.

"Ugh! I hate you dad! I will get you in trouble with mom now since you can't see the difference between red and pink maybe mom can out put some sense in you." He quickly got up to try to prevent the hell that would rain down on him if she heard how he messed up.

"Honey wait I can go fix it."

"MOM! DAD CALLED ME A BITCH!" After yelling that, she left the room to storm upstairs to complain to her mom about her dumb dad.

"WTF!" no seriously wtf I thought this was a flashback for my story. What the hell happened?

OH SHIT

I mixed up the story flashback with an episode of 16 and a total bitch from TLC give me a moment… alright got it here let's get back to the story!

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_Last Time on Adventures of an ANBU Trainee (For Realses)_

Naruto then suddenly stop moving and thought about the mission and the information they found about Shiki when he suddenly remembered a key piece of information about him.

"Naruto. Naruto! What did you just think of" Lee said when he noticed Naruto's big smile

"So do any of you guys know how to make sushi?"

"Yeah it is pretty easy some raw fish, rice, and some seaweed; roll it up and that's it." replied Neji wondering where he was going with this.

"I think I know our way into the Cloud Village and how to get close to Shiki Houraisan…"

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_At Asiana Sushi House_

In the corner booth of the popular sushi house, Asiana, the group was being watch by other customers as both Rock Lee and Naruto were in the midst of a food eating contest with no regards to either their teammates or the other people in the restaurant.

"Yosh Naruto-kun you are a youthful opponent but I shall defeat you with my flames of youth!" Lee managed to shout between shoveling plates of crab rolls down his throat meanwhile Naruto could care less as he was steamrolling through his pile of sushi with the haste of a cheetah.

"Is there something we are waiting for or we just supposed to sit with both of you idiots as you choke on sushi." Neji stated angrily as he wiped another stray piece of rice and seaweed from his face. Naruto finished off his last plate and slowly placing it down while Lee also stopped eating.

"That was good, but not as good as ramen though." He then turned to Neji who was sitting next to him and continued. "Yes he should be here soon." Now even Shino was intrigued. _An informant or maybe an insider who could aid us in entering Kumo?_ However those thoughts were put to rest as a clone of Naruto walked up to them with a grin on his face.

"HEY GUYS I GOT THE SECRET FILES!" He yelled to basically everyone in the restaurant and anyone nearby on the street. "You idiot just give me the files and dispel yourself." The Naruto clone handed the folder over to the original and stuck out his tongue as he dispelled himself.

"Anyways this is a copy of the documents we recovered from the raid of the drug farm. There are quadruple copies of everything so take a look at all of it and guess what I think our approach should be." Naruto handed over the papers as he sat patiently for the rest of his team to figure out the plan.

"There seems to be nothing here except the book keeping for the farm, general expenses and a general calendar with some dates circled."

"What is special about the dates?"

"Some are repeating over the past few months indicating a pattern. Lee hand me the expenses on these days." Neji said to Lee who was currently highlighting the days in the budget. Lee closed his highlighter and handed over the paper to Neji who now was analyzing it for a pattern or at least a connection.

"It seems twice a month he spends money at expensive restaurants around lunch time on these days which we could not have noticed because he seems to constantly eat out at the same time but because the dates are circled and he spends more money on those days then on any other days in the month." Neji concluded while Shino was skeptical.

"That could merely be happenstance. He could just like to spend more money on his lunch on these days rather than others seeing as he is coming from the weekly council meetings." Shino responded logically seemingly shooting down Neji's theory, however before he could deny the connection Naruto spoke up.

"That's what I thought after looking at it but the problem with that is if he did want to spend more money on himself on those days only, then why then does he go to different restaurants throughout the Kumo district all within close walking distance of the Raikage tower. Notice as his expenditures for lunch normally occur closer to home which we can assume is him going home after the morning meetings whereas the bi-monthly lunches are held close to the tower indicating that this regular event is meant to be held in public and for others to see meaning it has to be some sort of bi-monthly council lunch." Naruto finished, now looking at the others waiting for them to respond.

"That does seem likely but a calendar and some receipts cannot prove the bi-monthly council luncheon that you suggested." Shino said with a blank look on his face which was covered by his usual green trench coat and hoodie. Naruto then held up an envelope for all at the table to see.

"Don't believe me here open this Lee." Lee then grabbed the letter from Naruto and began to read out loud. "_The council lunch was a success. I was able loosen up Hyuunda's fat lips to give me information on the patrols of local police forces near my farms…_" Naruto then stopped Lee since his point was already proven by the letter.

"Needless to say this is a real thing and this is how will get him. We need to know what he knows before Kumo figures out and keeps all of the profits from his drug farms for themselves."

"So basically we need to kidnap a drug lord from a public restaurant carry him across the elemental nations and eventually extract all these "farms" from him then send out squads to gather all the resources before Kumo finds out any of this?"

"Yosh! Sounds youthful let's go right now while the springtime of our youth is overflowing!" Lee yelled in Asiana as he had one leg on the table and puffed out his chest.

"At least Lee is in, how about the rest of you guys?" Naruto said looking at both Shino and Neji. "This sounds absolutely ridiculous but you are the captain so I am in." Shino just nodded in agreement so Naruto then began to explain what would be necessary for the mission.

"Guys thanks for this but now we have to get to work. Take notes of everything because this is what we will be replicating over in Kumo as our front. That means the staff, the tables, the food, and overall set up." Naruto finished as Lee questioned Naruto.

"How are we supposed to get the council to come to the restaurant in the first place, we simply do not have the budget or the experience to replicate an upscale sushi house?"

"You are right Lee but we will have an advantage that no luxury sushi house would never think about."

"What Naruto?" Neji asked just trying to get the point of all this run-around. Naruto smirked and handed over a separate paper with information of a VIP in Kumo. "This guy is our in." Naruto then explained who it was as the picture in the top corner of the paper.

"That my friends is the Raikage's brother, better known as Killer Bee who also happens to be the jinjuuriki of the eight tails." Killer B has dark skin and a muscular build, as well as white hair and a goatee. On his right shoulder, he has a tattoo of the kanji for "iron". He was wearing oval shaped sunglasses and a white-colored forehead protector. He also has his village's standard one-strap-over-one-shoulder flak jacket, and a long, red rope belt tied around his waist, the standard Kumo hand and shin guards, shinobi sandals, and a white scarf around his neck.

"I understand that he is important but how is he going to convince the Raikage to schedule the council lunch at our sushi house?" Shino spoke up for the first time in awhile

"Just look at the last bullet point on the page." Naruto said as he tried to fight of the growing grin spreading across his face. "You cannot be serious Naruto! There is no way you will get me to do that!" Neji stood up and got into his captain's face to show he was dead serious about what he just said.

"Come on Neji it could be…youthful for you and show the bright flames of your youth." Naruto said in response which neither calmed Neji down nor reduce the grin on his face.

"Yosh Neji we shall compete who is the greatest in the Leaf Village! Let's go my eternal rival and throw down!" Lee suddenly said getting Neji's attention away from Naruto. Naruto turn to Shino who had no visible reaction except the slight stiffening of his posture but Naruto just passed that off as Aburame behavior.

"Well since everyone else is on board let me explain how this will go down…dawg." Naruto finished with a smile which was shared between himself and Lee whereas Shino was just as quiet as a mouse and Neji was struggling to not choke out Naruto and Lee in public. All in all a plan was coming together.

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_In The Kumo Shopping District_

While Naruto, Neji, and Shino was watching a troublesome scene unfold in front of them in the middle of the Kumo Shopping District. Lee was in the middle of negations for renting out an empty storefront from the current landlord and it was no going well.

"Yosh to make up for this property being such poor condition, we will pay one half of the asking price." Hearing that Naruto and the rest of his team could only try to stay in character as Lee was ruining their chance to get this great location near the tower.

"There is no way you will get this place for only half of what I asked you are being ridiculous!" The landlord yelled back to the teen since he thought he was fooling around. "This is a great location and if you are not interested I will sell it to someone who will pay the asking price."

"Lee take the deal and let's get on with this." Neji said to Lee as he tried to hold back his anger at his teammate for being ridiculous at a time like this. "No let's go one third of the asking price! That way, we'll get more money back than we originally planned!" Lee said excitedly as he held up his fist as if he just solved the problem. As this was going on Naruto, Neji, and Shino could only sweat drop as Lee continued on his madness.

The landlord was about to leave when Lee spoke up again. "Sir I know this is sudden, but we will buy the store for ONE FOURTH of the asking price!" Naruto, his team, and the landlord just fell to the ground in exasperation. "Is something wrong Naruto-kun?" Lee turned to the now pale Naruto getting up from the ground.

"Yes Lee that price you are asking for his impossible to get. Lee I told you to stop acting like this when you began to negotiate for the price." Lee just shook his head as if he already understood what Naruto was saying.

"That is why I said we will pay one third of the asking price before but he refused." Lee stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Lee you are missing the point…" Naruto just sighed and picked up the passed out landlord to re-discuss the deal. "Look please forgive my…energetic friend here but he is somewhat right the asking price is a little high because of all the repairs necessary so we will pay in cash up front for the whole asking price if you have everything cleaned up and certified ready for business." Naruto said hoping to get the store even after the incident before, however once the landlord heard cash and up front he was already sold.

"Well that sounds reasonable as soon I have the money it is all yours." The landlord said doubtful that these teens would have that much money but he suddenly surprised when Naruto signaled to Shino who brought over a suitcase brimming with cash.

"Here is the exact asking price you can count if you want." Naruto said knowing he no longer had the landlord's attention since his eyes were replaced by dollar signs and he looked as if he was ready to run off with the money.

"Why yes everything seems in order. Here is the deed just sign here, here, and here and you will be the brand new owner of this fabulous store front in the heart of Kumo's Shopping District!" The landlord could now feel the bills run through his fingers as Naruto signed the deed and handed it back to him.

"Thank you very much have a nice day sir." Once he left he snapped toward Neji and Lee who were ready for the instructions from their captain. "Neji. Lee. Here are the scrolls with all the furniture we got earlier you will go and set up the shop to the designs we covered before. Shino and I will go and get fish and other ingredients we will need for the Sushi House. We should be back before it gets too late. Do not leave until we get back with the food so we can start storage and get up and running soon." Neji and Lee briskly nodded and received the scrolls as Shino and Naruto started to walk towards Kumo Lake.

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_At Kumo Lake_

Shino and Naruto were now sitting on a boat in the middle of Lake Kumo fishing for fish to bring back to the sushi house. They both were sitting there enjoying the view when after catching nothing for a while Naruto began to talk not knowing it would lead to one of the weirdest conversations he would ever had. "So Shino how is it going?"

Shino turned slightly towards Naruto which was the only indication that he heard him. "Fine." Naruto just sighed he hoped he could get Shino to talking more _but then again I doubt he would open up to anyone._

"I suppose this is where we trade stories about each other's childhoods." Naruto then became nervous of childhood stories especially after Neji's "confession". "Shino that's fine we don't have to talk. Oh I think I have something here." Naruto then started faking that a fish was biting.

"I feel it would be beneficial to team cohesion so I shall begin."

"Shino its fine really."

"I was a young bug lover."

"Now that just sounds wrong."

"I think I was either 7 or 8 at the time."

"(SIGH) Fine I won't stop you."

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_Flash-back 10 Years Ago_

A young Shino was sporting the same style as the rest of his clan, consisting of dark sunglasses and a sea-green jacket with a high, upturned collar as he walk in the forest looking around for exotic bugs when he heard strange sounds coming from a river. Shino approached the river bank when he sat upon a nearby rock sitting patiently for the sounds to occur again. Then it began.

"_Buzz Buzz Chirp Chirp Glug Buzz_" Shino was confused _There is a pattern._

"_Buzz Buzz Chirp Glug Buzz" _Shino started getting into it and joined along but with his own twist.

"Bo pf Bo pf Bo pf" Shino started a beat with his mouth matching the bugs and was enjoying it the entire time. He brought his hands toward his mouth to make the sounds different.

"Bo ts ts ts ts ku ku ku chik" Shino just rolling with the beat as he suddenly stood on the rock he was previously sitting on and was going ham

"pft pft ts ku pft pft pft ts ku…" and so Shino found his love for beatboxing from listening to the sounds of the forest. He did in the forest, his room, at school, and anyone who would listen to him on the street. _It is only logical that I become the greatest beatboxer in all of the Leaf Village._ You see Shino as a young boy had aspirations to become a professional beatboxer before becoming a ninja but as fate would have it today was the day that would all change.

"Shino I heard from your teacher today that you were interrupting class today by making noises from your mouth into a rhythm." Shibi Aburame stated coolly to his son in the living room of their hive shaped clan estate.

"Yes father, my classmates enjoyed what I was doing so it was only logically to continue to perform my action because of the positive result I received from it." Shino calmly responded as his argument was solid.

"Unfortunately I cannot allow this behavior to continue since you are disruptive to not only in class but the Aburame emotional control because you are physically showing your passion to others thus breaking what we are known for outside our insect manipulation." Shibi responded somewhat gentler than he thought he would since he was destroying his son's passion. _Correction current passion I am positive his interests will change as he grows older._

"I understand Tou-sama I see the reason behind your argument therefore I shall stop this action and bring honor to the clan." Shino responded with a blank expression. He then left a nodding Shibi as he went to his room to figure out how to express rhythm while keeping a cool façade when he stumbled to his secret passion that he holds to this very day.

_Flash-back End_

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After finishing the story Shino then turned toward a slightly disturbed Naruto and pulled down his shades and in the quiet of the approaching night he clearly said.

"My dream is to become the greatest rapper of the Leaf Village." Naruto could only stare at Shino before he pursed his lips together and looked toward the shore as if calculating something. He slowly pulled his rod out of the water and placed it in the boat.

"You know what Shino you obviously need some time to yourself to sort out some personal issues. So I'm going to go…..like right now." Naruto then just jumped out of the boat and swam to the shore as he was too distracted to water walk since he was still trying to understand why he had such a messed up team. _At least Lee is up front about it…but what if he is also hiding something?_ Naruto cringed at the thought of any more team bonding over childhood stories as he finally reached the shore and went off to get the rest of the supplies necessary for the restaurant not caring in the slightest that he was soaking wet.

Shino was now by himself as he just pondered on his dream and concluded with his next statement that he said out loud. "I'm a rapper 'till the day I die." He then held out the peace sign to no one but the crows that were overhead. "Baka… Baka…" Shino then just dropped his head in shame when even the birds that heard him they thought he was being an idiot so he just focused on the fish in the water since they would not insult his dream right?

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_At Ninja Rolls Sushi House_

Naruto walked up to the shop with the rest of the food they would need to open the restaurant with in a scroll, now they would have to see how much fish Shino could get by himself. _Shino…_ Naruto tried to stop the sudden shudder that came down his spine as he approached the now named Ninja Rolls Sushi House.

"Hey guys I'm back! Wow this place looks much done." Indeed it looked nearly finished and ready for service. "Yosh Naruto-kun welcome back! Of course it is nearly done, we burned as the upmost youthful flames in a friendly competition of who could do the most work and the Leafs Handsome Devil was again the winner!" Lee responded full of energy whereas Neji looked like he was going to pass out.

"It is a shame my partner does have the same level of stamina as myself or else we could have gone on longer!" Both Naruto and Neji turned green and squinted at Lee thinking the same thing. _He has to at least understand what he is saying just sounds wrong…right?_ Thankfully before either of them could respond to what Lee said Shino came in with a scroll in his hand and gave it to Naruto.

"That should be enough for the a couple weeks. I went out and bought whatever I could not catch and put it in the scroll along with what I caught at the lake." Shino finished as he failed to read the awkwardness in the room. "Yosh good job Shino-kun!" With that Naruto snapped out his thoughts and began to explain what was going tomorrow.

"Alright guys we are going to a dry run with my clones tomorrow and make sure everything is covered and practiced several times. Got it?" Lee looked excited while Neji seemed regretful for agreeing to this mission in the first place whereas Shino had an odd look of determination in his eyes.

"Good we open in two days. Go get some sleep." And with that ANBU team Gamma slept in for the intense mission in the upcoming days.

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_Two Days Later_

Naruto opened the double doors to the shop and put up a sign on top of the doors saying: "NINJA ROLLS SUSHI HOUSE! GRAND OPENING!" He then took a deep breath and yelled out in his excitement.

"All right now we are ready for anything. BRING IT ON!" well needless to say fate did bring it and he wrapped it up as a gift and dropped a beast onto their front porch…specifically a tailed beast.

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_At Storm Cloud Ravine_

Killer Bee was now leaving his personal training ground jumping on his toes as he went along thinking about what he should have for lunch. "Ahhh man I feel so hungry I think I will get sushi or else my muscles will get all mushy Yeah!"

_**That has to be the worst one yet Bee and I still can't stand this rapping after all these years.**__ YO! Don't hate, no time discuss this gotta get some food before it's too late! __**(sigh) I don't know why I try anymore…**_

After cutting off communication with his inner tailed beast Killer bee now walks the popular streets of Kumo for a sushi place when he notices a small restaurant with a big sign saying: "NINJA ROLLS SUSHI HOUSE! GRAND OPENING!"

"That places sounds mighty fine let's go see what's inside aw yeah!" Killer Bee said out loud ignoring the strange looks on the people around him. As he walks inside he notices there are multiple tables on both sides of a single circular bar in the center of the room where a teen with large eyebrows teen and sunglasses was furiously working on cutting up fresh fish and then sliding it over to a taller silent teen who proceeded to roll it up and hand it over to a pale server to distribute to customers in the restaurant.

_Aww man it's another one of these lame places. Looks like I will just look for an empty table so I can fill some spaces Yeah! _Killer thought as he continued inside only to be interrupted in his stride by a young blond with a gold chain and sunglasses similar to what the other workers were wearing.

"YO! You seem new here let me get you straight. This is the dopest sushi house in all of Kumo state! My name is Naruto but it means maelstrom not fishcake. If that's what you want that you got to wait till Wednesdays! Hold let me give you a tour. Let me pass it to Neji who will kill it so hard you'll want an encore."

"Neji! Give it to our new customer!" Neji then nodded and proceeded to place the sushi tray that he had on his hand onto an empty table. He then calmly straightened out his kimono and jumped onto a table with his arms crossed and began his part.

"YO! We coming straight out Yugakure! A crazy ass village the more we served man our rep got bigger! We a bad sushi house and we know this but the police in Yugakure didn't show this! So we squeezed the trigger and our bodies got hauled off! Straight to Kumo is where we laid, slices of fish is what we gave, to those hungry fools who were looking for a lunch break! Now here let me lay it down for you these our positions. Naruto in the front dealin with any partitions! Me down at the tables' hardcore giving outstanding service to those who want more! By boy Lee in the back slicing up fish so fast he will make you say "Damn sir! That was really fast!". To end it all saving the best for last the greatest roller from here to Japan! A real mystery as he never really speaks but looks so cool all the ladies just squeak! Shino is his name and rolling up fish is his game! Thanks for listening to me go, I hope you enjoy Ninja Rolls!" Neji then coughed then calmly stepped down from the table, took the sushi and proceeded to give the customers around their order seemingly ignoring the massive amount of applause he received as he went.

"YOSH as youthful as always my eternal rival! Since Neji introduced me I guess I will end it right here cause Naruto said to knock you out!" Lee then threw his knife down onto a block of wood and jumped into the air while tucking his legs and landed on the stage in the back of the restaurant for karaoke. The lights dimmed and everyone turned towards the stage while Killer Bee was now just trying to stand up even though his body was ready to collapse from this amazing place.

The lights rose revealing Rock Lee…in a boxing outfit and a hoodie.

"**YOSH!** Don't call it a comeback I have been doing this for years! Rocking my peers and puttin' fishes in fear, Makin' the tears rain down like a MON-soon, Listen as my knife hits the wood like BOOM! Explosion, overpowering, over the competition we towerin. Wreckin fish, when I drop these rolls that'll make you call the cops! Don't you dare stare, you betta move, Don't ever compare, Me to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced, Competition's payin the price! Ninja Rolls goin knock you out. **HUUUH! **Our sushi will knock you out **HUUUH!** Ninja Rolls goin knock you out **HUUH!** Our sushi will knock you out **HUUUH! **Ninja Rolls goin knock you out. **HUUUH! **Our sushi will knock you out **HUUUH! **Ninja Rolls goin knock you out. **HUUUH! **Our sushi will knock you out **HUUUUUH! YOSH!**" After that Lee dropped the mike on the stage and headed back to the sushi bar dressed back into his kimono while all the people in the restaurant sat back down to enjoy their food as they let the adrenaline leave their bodies from singing along with Lee.

"Lee that was awesome man you killed it! Well since everyone else has gone let's let Shino close us out." Naruto said looking past Lee as he said the last sentence.

Neji stop what he was doing and then looked at Shino.

Rock Lee put down his cutting knife and turned to look at Shino.

Everyone was deathly quiet as they looked at Shino

Killer Bee was on edge and could only think _How will he top everyone else?_

Shino then calmly stopped rolling the sushi he was rolling and proceeded to the stage. Each step he took captivated the audience as if he were a piano virtuoso. He slowly adjusted the mike to his tall stature and began what could only be described as real rap raw.

"Chest work….Bench Press…Chicken Nuggets Nigga" Shino then threw his hands in the air as if he just dropped the entire world on the audience and indeed he seemed to have dropped the world on them. Everyone was pumped and jumping around, women were falling, passing out into their friends arms as if God's hand fell upon them. Others limbo under their tables since they simply could not completely grasp the magnitude of what was dropped upon them. All in all this peaceful restaurant was turned into a zoo with these animals going crazy.

"SHINO! SHINO! SHINO!" The crowd cheered as they picked up their god as his feet should not even touch the floor and then placed him down by his station behind Rock Lee. He then proceed to straighten out his kimono and if you looked closely you could see the smug smirk on his face as he pushed his sunglasses closer to his face. As everything calmed down Naruto turned to a rejoicing Killer Bee with a knowing smile. _Everything is going to plan._

"So table or booth?"

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**Omake by King of the Void **

**What Happens When Kakashi is Late for the Last Time**

Naruto groaned as he let his arms fall. "Where the hell is Kakashi? We've been waiting for four hours!"

Sakura shrugged. "We really should know...why are you hanging off a streetlight?"

"Because I can." Stated Naruto as if it was obvious. "Anyway I have an idea on how we can get back at Kakashi. We'll need to call in some help, but can I count you two in?"

Sakura nodded while Sasuke gave an "hn."

"Alright, I'll go set it up."

Five minutes later

"Everyone know what to do?" Asked Naruto, looking out at everyone who he could convince to help...which as it turned out included four ANBU squads, twelve Jounin, twenty five chunin, every clan head on the council, Danzo, the academy's PTA board and the Fire Damyo himself. If team seven learned anything that day it was being constantly late made you more enemies than you realized.

"Special effects standing by." roared Ibiki.

"Camera crew ready and waiting." reported an ANBU.

"Therapy station on standby." chimed Kurinai.

"FLAMES OF YOUTH BURNING WITH THE WHITE HOT INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS!" I think you know who said that...

Elsewhere

Kakashi sighed, finally arriving at the meeting spot only to find his students had left without him. "Oh come on, I'm not that late...only a few hours...I think..." She shook his head in disbelief and picked up a note with his name on it.

**Kakashi**

**We've decided to talk to Granny about you're constant lateness. Come to her office as soon as you get this. The longer you take the more pages get burned out of your book.**

**Love,**

**Naruto**

**P.S.: BOOM**

Kakashi's eye widened as he threw the paper away just in time to not be caught in the explosion. "These kids are trying to kill me!" He froze as what the letter said finally hit his brain. "NO MY PRESSIOUS! DON'T LISTEN TO THEM LADY TSUNADE!"

Tsunade blinked, curious as to when Kakashi had learned the Flying Thunder God. "I'm afraid you're too late Kakashi, I've already decided on your punishment." With an evil smile she pressed a button under her desk, causing a trap door to open under the masked man.

When he came to Kakshi found himself face to face with Gai...who was wearing nothing but a green thong speedo. "!"

**Due to the current rating on this story and for the love of humanity the following scene has been censored. We apologize for the inconvenience.**

Tsunade nodded in satisfaction as she tried to stem the flow of blood from her nose. "The sales from the video will be a very useful source of income once it gets though editing. I'd say he learned his lesson."

"I think we all did." Whimpered a ghostly pale Naruto. "I for one learned you're more creative than Pervy Sage by a long shot."

"I learned Kakashi apparently super glues his mask on and Gai is surprisingly weak to aphrodisiacs." Stated a blushing Sakura. "Um Sasuke, what up with your Sharingan?"

Sasuke blinked and checked himself in a conveniently placed mirror. "...apparently this was enough to get the Mangekyo Sharingan."

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**Thanks for reading and btw the omake was sent to me via a pm and I thought it was funny and weird.**

**Rate and Review.**

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**Sage's AMV Corner!**

Alright it's the third installment and since no has minded I will keep rolling on with these. If you have an AMV YOU WANT featured in my corner or if you have a review on any of the AMVs here feel free to comment and trust me when I say reviews are encouraged and side note

I FEED ON THEM

(cough) ok let's get on with the show here are the top AMVs for the chapter.

**The Good: Naruto AMV – Sunrise [HD] by AnimeOpEd**

- AMVs can change how people can view an anime no matter which show it is and this one just makes me feel as if Naruto was changed into something even greater than I originally thought before watching this AMV. It is so well done with the editing and the song choice is just a perfect reflection of the Naruto series and it just makes you both happy and sad at the same time. I have to give a gold star to AnimeOpEd for this AMV; it honestly should be used as an official AMV for Naruto because it is just that great.

**The Bad: Naruto Boys ~ I don't dance ~ by Otome15**

- I originally was not going to put this AMV in the bad category because immediately I noticed the editing was decent and the song was funny but after thirty seconds I stop chuckling and was like "Wait I have to listen to this song for 3 more minutes." as bad as that sounds I can barely stand High School Musical as the next guy so yes this is a bad AMV just because of my bias of 23 year olds in high school that perform kid show tunes.

**The Funny: Naruto "Its Raining Men" by alittlepixiedust01**

- I have heard the song only a couple times before I saw the AMV but by the time I have written this review I would have heard it at least 10 more times just because the editing is subtle which I only saw after the second time I watched it but when listening to the lyrics and seeing what is on the screen I could only say HALLELUAH ITS RAINING MEN!

**The Bonus: Neji – Crank That by PirateSweetheart**

- Remember that song that you heard in summer camp that all the counselors made you learn by the end of the summer, well Neji learned it too and I approve. The song quality was good but the editing was seemed to be made by a 12 year old back in 2007 so I am on the fence about where to put this. However it was enjoyable so I would definitely check it because we all know that Neji is an OG and this song just brought that out just like in this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

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**Adventures of an ANBU Trainee**

**Chapter 3- Leaving Kumo**

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Heading back to the Raikage's office Killer Bee was pumped too say the least. "YO SAY HO! Man that place was off the chain the food, the service, and the raps were insane!" It was at this time his tailed beast spoke up after the countless hours of torture he had to endure seeing how Killer Bees' lunch turned into almost non-stop day of rapping worse than he had ever endured.

"**Oh my, Sage is it over? I am beginning to rethink just killing myself but I know I would have to come back to this life to listen to rap for all of eternity." **He was practically rolled up in his tentacles trying to prevent any sound from coming into the mindscape but it ended up being a losing battle seeing how Bee would not stop thinking about the staffs' raps and playing them over and over in his mind.

Killer Bee just ignored his partner's complaints as he now had a serious task he had to do convincing his big bro to be move the council lunch to Ninja Rolls in two days. He was well into a few sake shots when he and Naruto came up with this flawless plan.

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_Flashback 5 Hours Ago_

A customer was now doing karaoke while Bee and Naruto were in a booth in the back getting drunk while listening to the terrible rendition of Anaconda. Naruto was the first to speak after a long time of exchanging rap flows and schemes.

"You know Bee I wish there were more people like you. We were shocked that they so many rap fans in Kumo from what you told me from your concerts which by the way tell us when and we will all go out and even cater for the event. "

Killer Bee then turned to look into Naruto's shades when he spoke. "Any time you guys want to rap with me just talk with me and it will definitely happen." Naruto looked happy but then suddenly looked down into his drink and swirled the alcohol looking into his reflection in the clear liquid.

"Bee… I am going to ask for a favor. Since you liked this place so much could you drop our name around so more people can enjoy our place. It is just hard for a new place to get recognition in a village as large as Kumo." Naruto looked back up to match stares with Killer Bee.

"Don't worry about it Naruto because this place is off the chain for sure!" Killer Bee rhymed at Naruto as he then left the booth to go hit the stage as the Anaconda karaoke singer got off, but what Bee missed was Naruto's smirk at the end of the conversation knowing he played it perfectly.

_Flashback End_

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_Raikage Office_

Ay was talking with the treasurer of the council discussing budget cuts in the city in order to improve the village's economy when the doors to the office were slammed open and Killer Bee sauntered in a little tipsy while a pissed Mabui was following behind.

_Thank Kami! I could not stand talking about this anymore._ Ay schooled his face into annoyance and yelled out at Bee for interrupting his meeting. "Bee what is the meaning of this nonsense. I am in a meeting you have 10 seconds to save your face from my Iron Claw!"

Bee just started to chuckle nervously since Ay could be really scary at times. "No big bro I am good. However I have found the best place for the council lunch in two days!"

"Bee we are not going to another one of your karaoke bars to listen to you the entire time!"

"No big bro this place is different the food, staff, and atmosphere is the Nibi's tits (_honestly if I read another Nibi is a lusty tailed beast in a fanfic I will stop reading for the rest of the day_)!"

"Bee! What have I told you about talking about Yugito's tits! The last time she heard you say that she almost released the Nibi! Look Bee we already have plans for another restaurant for the council lunch at the Golden Dragon." Killer Bee looked as if he was going to cry right there and when Ay saw this he broke.

"Ok Bee look if something happens then we will go to where you want. What is the place called?"

"Thanks big bro! It's called Ninja Rolls Sushi House." Bee then started to leave with a mischievous smile on his face. "Bee don't ruin the restaurant so we go to the other place I can't deal with the "accident" paperwork I would have to fill out!"

"No promises bro!" Bee then skipped out ready to pass out in his apartment. What neither of them noticed was the fly in the room that followed Bee out.

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Sitting on the roof of their rented apartment Shino was waiting for his insect to return as he thought on his time on the team. Taking a deep breath the full moon reflected on his shades and the growing smile became evident as his fly came back and deliver the information about where the council lunch was going to take place.

"It seems that now is my time to contribute to the mission." Shino then dissolved into a horde of bugs flying toward the commercial center of Kumo with the only noise in the clear night was the buzzing of hundreds of insects.

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_Next Day_

Ay and the full council was in full session discussing the daily and seemingly growing issues Kumo was struggling to deal with since all paperwork was run through the kage and all issues had to be brought up to the council. As this meeting was occurring a council aid was sprinting through the halls leading to the council room bumping other people holding papers for the council to review.

"Sorry!" That aid finally reached the room, however he was unprepared for the sudden glares by all the members who were in the midst of discussion. Clearing his throat and trying not to wet himself he brought up the reason why he was here in the first place.

"Council I bring terrible news!" He yelled getting all the members tense waiting for him to continue.

"Well son what is it don't hold back tell us the truth." A senior member demanded of him

"The truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" Ay just looked for the cameras in the room to record this ridiculous moment however seeing none he had enough of this tomfoolery.

"Tell us what the hell you thought was so important that you interrupted this meeting!" Ay's lighting armor subconsciously activated promising the council aid pain within the blink of an eye if he continued messing around.

"Raikage-sama and honorable council the Golden Dragon has recently suffered a bug infestation that was found this morning when they discovered the door was left open and food was left in the kitchen. Therefore they told me unfortunately they cannot accommodate the honorable council for lunch tomorrow." Ay could only think that Bee somehow had a hand in this however he seriously doubted Bee would use bugs over brute force to close the restaurant down.

"Well what are we going to go now?"

"(sigh) Luckily Bee had a back-up plan if this were to happen."

"Bee-sama was prepared for a bug infestation?"

"No he offered an alternate location for lunch at a brand new Sushi House that would be willing to accommodate us in case something like this were to happen."

"What is the name of the restaurant Bee-sama recommended?" Asked a new voice in the council room. It was none other than Shiki Houraisan. He rarely spoke up in meetings unless he was looking for an angle however the reason now was different. _I have not heard from any of the farms in the fire country for over a week and now a sudden bug infestation at the only restaurant that we were going to eat at closes which allowed for the lunch to be a new place that has just opened up which can accommodate a group this large so quickly…suspicious._

"The name is Ninja Rolls Sushi House, it has received good review recently and is only not as well-known due to the lack of publicity it has gotten since it just opened." Ay finished and asked if everyone was willing to go and nearly everyone nodded since the luncheon was just a formality to demonstrate the close relationship with the council and the Raikage.

"Excellent we shall make plans for 1:30. You boy!" The council aid stood at attention ready for whatever the Raikage would ask of him. "Go quickly and inform them of what just occurred and make reservations for 1:30." He nodded and left to fulfill his leader's will.

_Maybe now is the time to take a break; I could even go to my beach house for a while…_ Shiki thought as the rest of the day's meeting droned on.

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_At Ninja Rolls Night Time_

The council aid had just finished delivering the Raikage's message for tomorrow's council lunch leaving Naruto to close up shop and head back to the apartment where the rest of the team was resting. Naruto could not fight off the grin that was coming onto his face as he opened the door to the apartment, the rest of the team seeing his grin smiled as well knowing that their plan worked.

"Nice job Shino tomorrow is the council lunch and that's when we will make our move." Naruto turned to Lee. "Lee prep the stomach poison for the fish and let it sit in it overnight so when he eats it he will have to leave the lunch early with the uncontrollable urge to vomit so we will grab him on his way home. When he turns to vomit in private in an alley we grab him and have one of my clones henge into him and head back to here and see what he knows. Alright guys this is it we do this right and we have our first full mission under our belts get some sleep."

"Yosh! Let's go team Gamma!" Rock Lee said getting pumped that they were closing in on their first mission. Meanwhile Neji could only shake his head at his energetic friend but agreed none the less. Needless to say tonight was a rough night for sleep since the nerves kept them up, but they were confident they would perform their part perfectly.

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_At Ninja Rolls Midday _

_Ok so it's now 1:25 they should be arriving at any moment._ Naruto glanced around the restaurant making eye contact with the team seeing the nervousness but also the sheer determination that they will not fail. _That's my team! Success through gutsiness!_ At the end of his mental encouragement the council's entourage rolled up with Ay in the front talking to a dancing Killer Bee who was so excited to come back to Ninja Rolls._ Here we go. _Naruto took a deep breath and stepped forward to Ay with his rapping mask firmly in place.

"Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Raikage it's your birthday we goin' to party like it's your birthday. We going to eat sushi like it's your birthday and we don't really give a fuck if it's your birthday! Welcome to Ninja Rolls Raikage-sama and honorable council members please follow me we have a special room for your prestigious group." Ay just had a tick mark as Naruto's rap in the beginning had reminded him of Bee but by the end he calmed down seeing how he willingly came knowing that he should have expected this of Bee's recommendation.

"Yes, please go ahead." Meanwhile the other customers were in awe watching their leaders eating at the same place they were eating at and soon they were leaving to bring their friends thus causing a sudden influx of business. Now the entire council was sitting at a large room with a large rectangular table allowing all the members to sit together with Ay at the head of it. Neji came in quickly after passing by Naruto with a nod.

"Greetings honorable council members my name is Neji and I will be taking your orders now. I will start with Raikage-sama and work clockwise until we reach back to the start, thank you for your patience." After about 5 minutes to get everyone's orders and another 20 to get everyone's food thanks to Naruto's shadow clones in the kitchen working to make sure everything went quickly, the members got their food and began to eat and regale stories of their victories in whatever issue they dealt with. For the Raikage and Bee they retold about the time they battled the yellow flash and forced him to retreat while the council members were faking interest since they seemed to retell this story a lot meanwhile Shiki began to feel sick.

"And at this point Bee had his sword aimed at the yellow haired bastard's kidney when suddenly…" Ay stopped his story noticing Shiki holding his stomach. "Shiki are you ok? Problems with sushi? Never pegged you as a light weight." Shiki just bit back his retort as the stomach pain grew so he stood up and dismissed himself leaving before he caused a publicity stunt that would no doubt reflect poorly on himself.

"Please excuse me I am feeling unwell I shall retire in my home." Neji who was on standby lead him to the front to pay for his bill while signing to Naruto and Lee that the next phase was to start soon. Naruto just nodded and accepted Shiki's payment.

"Thank you for coming hope to see you again real soon Shiki-sama." Naruto said with a bow as he escorted him to the door. "See you real soon…" Naruto whispered to himself as he turned away from the door and headed towards the kitchen bringing Lee with him. Two minutes later the two reemerged but one set were clones that came into the restaurant whereas the real pair were dressed ready for action outside.

"Let's go." And with that they began their pursuit.

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_Kumo Commercial Streets- Alley_

Shiki was currently heaving back up all the poisoned sushi he ate in an alley nearby the restaurant when two figures approached him but in his distraught state he could not bring himself to identify the people slowly walking to him. "Ahh I am in need of assistance I have fallen ill…" He stopped now noticing two of the workers at Ninja Rolls coming toward him.

"Don't worry sir we will take good care of you. Lee!" Lee sprung forward and knocked him out appearing as nothing but a blur to the council member's eyes and threw a bag over his head. "Let's get him to the apartment now. We need to get the information on the rest of his farms." And with that the two ANBU in training disappeared to their base of operations in the obscure part of Kumo village.

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_Kumo Apartment_

Naruto and Lee were sitting across from a seated and unconscious Shiki Houraisan or so they thought but they were surprised and pissed to find out it was someone else under a henge as him. Naruto had enough of waiting. He approach his unconscious body and punch him square across the face and ripped the bag off him.

"WAKE THE HELL UP!" Seeing the man register his face Naruto reached into the man's clothes and found what he was looking for: a voice box. Naruto threw it against the wall causing it to shatter against the wall. The man looked smug because he knew that his leader was right about the threat on his life, however that smugness quickly faded as he saw the intense glares of Naruto and Lee.

"Who are you? Where is Shiki Houraisan!?" Naruto then slammed the imposter against the wall nearby. "Jigokuniochiru!" he replied back spitting on Naruto refusing to answer his question. Naruto then turned to Lee wondering what was going on.

"What the hell is he saying?" Lee looked at the man and thought where he had heard that language before when it suddenly hit him. "I think he is speaking Japanese." Naruto was shocked to say the least as he looked sternly at the man. "What kind of English man speaks Japanese?"

"Lee tell him to stop playing around and talk right!" Lee just shrugged his shoulders as he replied incredulously. "How can I tell him; I don't speak Japanese?"

"Jibun de neji iku!" The man said as he was laughing mentally knowing these two idiots would not get any information from him which was one of the reasons Shiki choose him for this mission.

"You better talk right man." Naruto threatened as he griped him by his collar and began to get in his face.

"Watashi wa eigo o hanasu hōhō o shiranai!"

"NO YOU'RE ENGLISH STOP HUMILATING YOURSELF!" He said while shaking the prisoner ready to start delivering more blows.

"Watashi wa eigo o hanasu hōhō o shiranai!"

"Shut up come here." Naruto starts to smack him on the face and puts him into a choke hold.

Neji and Shino came into the room finding Naruto strangling the informant and Lee turned to them asking for some help. "Please go find someone who speaks Japanese or we will not get anything from this man."

SMACK! "Speak English" Naruto demands as now the unidentified impersonator was tied down to a chair.

"Ofu***f!" He replied after spitting blood on the floor next to him

"Naruto" Lee got his attention as Neji and Shino come into the room with what appeared to be a female monk.

"This is Lady Ai and she speaks fluent Japanese and has agreed to interpret for us." Naruto and Lee both bowed and Naruto thanked her for her aid.

"Sister we appreciate you doing this for us."

"My pleasure."

"Sister Ai, please ask who sent him."

"Dare ga anata o okutta?"

"Anata wa ōkina machigai o shite iru. Anata wa jihiwokou masu aru hi. S no anata ga ichi-mai***"

"He said you are making a big mistake. That you will one day beg for mercy. He also said…" The sister looked away while Lee and Naruto look toward her in confusion.

"What did he say? Please sister we have to know."

"There are lives at stake here."

"Well he called the blonde a piece of S word."

"What! He called me a piece of S word? Well you tell this motherfu…"

"Naruto! She is a monk." Lee whispered to Naruto. He nodded in response.

"Sister you tell this S word that I will personally F word him up."

"S no anata wa ichi-mai***. Watashi wa, F ni naru*** anata o"

"F*** watashi o!?" He scoffed and looked directly into the monk's eyes.

"Anata no sobo wa*** s no sakuhindesu!"

"Did he just call me a piece of S word again?!"

"He used the S word again but this time he was referring to your grandmother."

"You tell him his mama's an H!"

"Naruto I believe whore is spelled with a W."

"Right! W and his sister is a W and his grandmother is a two-bit W who makes double because she has no teeth! Tell him I said that!" Naruto finished as he put his finger straight in the man's face

"Anata no imōto wa**** w wa. Sobo wa**** w wa dare ga nijū ni nari kanojo wa mattaku ha ga nai tame." Now looking at both Naruto and Lee he began to speak again.

"Neko to uji to inwofumu-betsu no tango!" He said as he looked at Lee then spitting on the ground.

"Did he say it again?" Naruto asked wondering when he could start to beat the crap out of him.

"No this time he called this gentleman a word that means cat and another word that rhymes with maggot."

"What!" Lee said in outrage as the man tied to the chair looked smug.

"Well you tell him that he is an AW!" Lee yelled at the monk.

"Lee! Hole is spelled with a H." Naruto corrected as he looked at Lee.

"I have a dictionary with me if you need it." The monk offered seeing Lee struggling with the right word to call the prisoner.

"JUST CALL HIM AN ASSHOLE!"

"Watashi wa hon'yaku no tsukare!"

"He says you will be marked for death."

"Whoo sister turn your back you are not going to want to see this." Naruto then turns on the man and grabs him by his collar shaking him as he questions him.

"Where is the real Shiki Houraisan and tell us how do we find him? Tell us right now or I will cut your beads off and shove them in your mouth."

"His beads?" the womanly monk asked incredulously.

"His beads Sister! His hairy stinkin' beads! Tell me something now!" Naruto shakes him again. He then turned to Lee with his hand open.

"Lee give me a kunai. Lee give me the kunai." Lee reaches into his ninja pouch and hands Naruto a kunai. Naruto then took the kunai to his skull and came close to his ear.

"It's over brother! It's over." Naruto then pulls back ready to lodge it into the man's skull.

"Where is Shiki Houraisan?"

"Sā, sore o okonau."

"What did he say sister?" Ai looked up at Naruto with tears ready to fall.

"He said to go ahead and do it."

Naruto then throws the kunai at his head only for it to bounce off the man's skull.

"Nan F***!" He looked petrified as he had thought they would not have tried to kill him.

"Lee why the hell did you give me one of the prop kunai from the sushi house? You know what never mind hand me a real kunai so I can get this over with." Lee gives Naruto another kunai. Naruto then stabbed the desk across from the prisoner to confirm that it was real.

"Damn Lee I am trying to kill somebody man." Naruto said with an incredulous tone in his voice. Naruto then brought the kunai to the man skull but this time it was charged with wind chakra making a loud swirling noise and cutting into the man's head a little causing blood to fall. Meanwhile Ai was looking terrified.

"Tell me something right now or I will send you straight to hell!" The man tied down could only look wide eyed at the monk silently asking her to stop Naruto.

"NARUTO!" Lee yelled at him.

"I don't even care anymore I am marked for death. I GOT NOTHING TO LOSE!" Ai started praying for the man out loud as Naruto continued his rant.

"That's right sister call the Lord and tell him he is about to have some company."

"Naruto stop!"

"TELL ME SOMETHING!" Naruto roared as the wind chakra grew violently around the blade making it so loud it was hard for the man to even think while at the same time it dug deeper into the man's skull causing blood to start gushing out.

"NARUTO ENOUGH!" Lee looked as if he was ready to intervene.

"Oh she is all most done. Forgive me Kami for I have sinned!" Naruto then readied the kunai to pierce the man's head.

"CHOTTOMATTE MATSU!" The man yelled out trying to save his own

"HE SAID WAIT!"

"What did he say?" Lee asked turning to the still freaked out monk.

"Tsuki no tochi. Howaitobīchihausu shima no nanbu."

"Land of moon. White beach house on the southern part of the island."

"Thank you." And with that Lee headed out of the room.

"Nice working with you sister." Naruto said looking at the monk.

"Anytime brother." They both high five and leave the room letting the man trapped to the chair sit there wondering what his fate would be.

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_Kumo Apartment_

Now the team was sitting in the living room discussing the next plan of how to get Shiki because now it was getting ridiculous to capture one drug lord. "Look guys we are all tired I have sent a hawk to tell Lion-taicho to send another squad to pick up Mr. Roboto here and take him to the Konoha Strict Correctional Facility while we plan out our next move."

"Why don't we just go back to the village and talk with captain?" Neji asked ready to leave this place as he could no longer stand working here and dealing with all the obnoxious customers. "No we can't now seeing as this was supposed to be our closing move because now there is no one playing as "Shiki Houraisan" to keep Kumo off our trail. They will assume we had something to do with it since he became sick from our food thus isolating him from everyone else. Damn it!" Naruto finished as he flipped a nearby lamp desk.

Pinching the bottom of his nose Naruto took a deep breath and turned back to his distraught team and looked for a silver lining in this enormous grey cloud of a mission. "Look guys any other rookie team would have just turned around and went home to leave it to someone like team Alpha but that is not we do. We are the best! We are team Gamma! We succeed when others doubt themselves through sheer gutsiness!" Naruto now saw the fierce look in his team's eyes and could not be prouder.

"Now come on guys we have a moon to save." And with that the team left the apartment ready for another chapter of this saga.

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**I love references to other movies so a cookie if you can guess where that could be from…**

**Rate and Review.**

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**Sage's AMV Corner!**

What's up guys? It is time for another set from BarelySage's AMV corner; time to look at the good, the bad and the funny Naruto AMVs out there.

**The Good:** **Kakashi Vs Obito & Obito Jinchuuriki****「****AMV****」****Frontline ᴴᴰ by AlopexAMVs**

- If you guys are keeping up with the anime recently some of the best hand to hand combat just went down and I can guarantee you the moment I looked for AMVs on this scene there were at least 5 different well done AMVs on this epic though short fight in the series. I choose this one because they speed up the fight slightly in order to match the song playing and in addition they captured more of the fight than anyone else. The song is great for this scene and matched the intensity of the original scene where it got me pumped watching Kakashi and Obito going at it with well-done flashbacks. Needless to say I got excited for Naruto all over again.

**The Bad: Naruto-Can't touch this by link224444**

- I like this song and I like Naruto so they should go together right? Wrong. Let this be a lesson to future AMV creators: just because you mute the characters when they are talking does not mean it looks good when you put speech over them because it just looks wrong when Naruto is talking and your song sounds nothing like what he should be saying. Honestly the title should read "Shouldn't touch this" because overall I give it two thumbs down.

**The Funny: [Naruto AMV] - Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) by For Your People**

- This has to be the greatest humorous AMV and my review could not do it justice. The editing is amazing and the song is just perfect for Naruto and the characters on the show. They put a ton of effort in making this AMV and it is great. I had to double check what year it was made in because I could not believe what year it came out in. 2008 yeah 2008 the same year Rock Band 2 came out but somehow it still is funny to watch because it's pretty fly for an AMV.


	5. Chapter 5

**GOOD LORD** **how long has it been since I have updated this fic? I have been swamped with school work and working with BarelyGhost to plan out the Major War Arc in his awesome story Ill-Fated. So as a little payment there will be a secret reveal about Ill-Fated at the bottom of the story that will ONLY BE DONE IN THIS STORY! So be sure to check that out and thank your boi Sage for hooking you up. Heads up there will be some graphic humor in this chapter but it will be brief.**

**-Thanks, Sage**

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**Adventures of an ANBU Trainee**

**Chapter 4- Moon Landing**

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Team Gamma was now onboard the S.S. Anne in casual clothes sailing toward Moon country enjoying the clear skies as the boat skipped across the ocean's surface. Naruto was wearing an orange long sleeve tee-shirt with blue shorts and was currently sitting on the front of the ship enjoying the breeze rushing past him. Meanwhile, Lee was dancing on the deck to a fast beat in short running shorts along with a green spandex top without sleeves showing off the results of his training.

"Lee stop dancing and for kami's sake put on some pants or at least longer shorts like Naruto!" Neji said as he approached the team with a pineapple soda in hand. Neji was wearing a short sleeve oxford buttoned all the way to the top without the first button and khaki cargo shorts.

"I concur with Neji, Lee should you be dressed so… revealing we are trying to maintain some form of secrecy as we are on the island." Shino said as he came from the shadows of the ship. He was wearing his normal attire of a green trench coat along with black pants. Naruto had heard enough and turned to face his team.

"Lee, the guys are right but I did ask you to dress casual so I am glad you changed out of your normal spandex suit and on the dancing I would suggest take some classes or something." Naruto finished by rubbing the back of his head giving Lee an awkward smile since he could dance himself.

"I am very sorry, Naruto." Lee said facing him, "Even with all of my shinobi training, I do not seem to be very nimble on the dance floor." He then looked down as he walked toward a lounge chair and started to chug water from a nearby bottle.

Naruto just sighed knowing that Lee would be only down for only a few minutes until he got a new idea to make incredible youthful. Looking back to the sea he could not help but feel his nerves to get the better of himself and by the atmosphere on the boat his teammates could feel it too. _Sigh. This is it we are coming for you Shiki. I won't rest until I got you in my hands!_ Naruto failed to notice how tightly he was gripping the railing until the metal groaned under the immense pressure he was applying to it.

"Alright guys come here!" Lee got off the chair, Neji tossed his soda away, and Shino stepped towards Naruto ready to listen to his captain give orders for their first mission. "The plan is to begin by establishing ourselves as teens on break from school and to do so we will be going to the hot spots on the island. We won't start our mission until night falls when we will scout out the beach house for the raid the following night. We will be on the island for only two nights I have already made sure we have reservations to a hotel. Thankfully I got us individual rooms close to the center of the island. Any questions?"

Lee raised his hand ready to speak up. "Yes Lee." Lee coughed then took a deep breath. "Taicho! What activities will we be doing to establish our cover as teens on break?" Naruto just smirked and pulled out a pamphlet that had folded open a large map for an amusement park. "This Lee will be only one of the fun activities I have planned for us! Look here, at the center of the park is a ramen shop!" Naruto then began to drool imaging how well they made their ramen since he needed the food of gods to get rid of the aftertaste of all the sushi they had the week before. Neji however spoke up to bring Naruto out of his ramen dream.

"We should be more focused on how we will be taking one of the biggest drug dealers in the fire country rather than what childish rides we will be forced to ride." Shino agreed with Neji showing his support by nodding in agreement. Naruto just began to wave Neji and Shino off in disagreement.

"Neji, Shino come on don't worry about it. We have it under control he has no idea we are coming so it will be an easy snatch and grab just like in training. You have to be more positive I mean look there is a ramen shop in the middle of an amusement park! A goddamn ramen shop!" Naruto then looked away from his team as he familiarized himself with the map meanwhile Lee returned to dancing while Neji and Shino returned under the ship to rest before they landed in Moon Country.

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_Moon Amusement Park _

"Oh man…" Naruto rubbed his face as if to rub away the annoyance of the large ketchup stain on his long sleeve. _And I just got this shirt. If Lee could stop running around like a little kid then I could eat this hotdog in peace._ Lee paid no attention to the irritated Naruto he was too caught up in the rides that were around him.

"Naruto-kun lets go to that! NO THAT ONE!" Lee stood gasping in awe before the largest rollercoaster ride in the entire park meanwhile Naruto was slowly walking up to Lee to tell him the line was too long to wait for.

"Lee you know we can't wait for this ride why not another one?" Lee just turned toward Naruto with the saddest eyes he could muster and was beginning to cry when Naruto could not watch anymore. "You know what fine here hold on to me." Lee could only blink before Naruto used the body replacement jutsu to switch himself and Lee with a couple who were the last to get on the ramp leading to the ride.

"Naruto! That was really unyouthful!" Lee whispered into Naruto's ear as they were buckled in to the ride. "Come on Lee you wanted to ride this ride so I got us on! Now let's enjoy it while we can." Lee could only stay mad for a while before the sheer excitement hit him. The ride started moving when he was reminded of his drunken fist training with Guy on the rapids in that small boat. He began to heave into his mouth ready to vomit.

"WHOO! LEE THIS IS AWESOME! LEE!?" Naruto could only sit there horrified at Lee's facial expression as he could not think of a way out since the restraints were securing him from leaving and the ride was going too fast for him to jump out anyways.

"LEE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT VOMIT ON ME!" Naruto was now pushing Lee's face in the opposite direction as Lee's face was swollen from holding back his throw up. Naruto was now regretting forgetting his motion sickness. _He can break the sound barrier but he can't handle a frickin' rollercoaster ride? _Lee could not hold back anymore as the car was now mid-loop and he vomited upside down. Naruto was glad that he threw up somewhere other than his face but it suddenly turned to horror as the car was now finished with the loop and Lee's vomit was now in a collision course with the car.

It was approaching in slow motion as he began to wonder if had unlocked the sharingan and was resisting his seat restraints as only a ninja could but it was far too late. Within the blink of an eye Naruto's vision was cut short as the vomit hit him the face. Naruto could simply not even. He could not even! He whipped away whatever was covering his eyes and began to finally realize what just happened when he turned to Lee and the situation became much worse.

"LEE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Rock Lee looked absolutely drunk as he was now out of his seat and stumbling on the fast moving car ducking under tunnels and holding onto the car with his chakra as it made sharp turns.

"What did…hic…you say…hic…vomit face?" Lee said as he was walking on the back of the car having the time of his non-sober life. "WTF MAN JUST SIT BACK DOWN!" Naruto could brush off the insult as his friend was in danger and a danger to others.

"Say that…hic…again I double…hic…dare you." Naruto could not reach out to him so he repeated himself. "LEE I SAID SIT BACK" was all he could get out before Lee began to repeatedly kick the side of Naruto's face getting some of the vomit off his face and onto Lee's running shoes.

"LEE! LEE! LEE! OK JUST NOT THE FACE SO MUCH MAN!" Naruto could not defend himself as he was repeatedly hit across the face luckily the ride was almost over as the rest of the riders were cheering for the last drop into the large pool at the bottom.

_Flash._

The ride's camera captured the riders in that exciting moment. A young couple in the front was holding hands as they dropped, a cute little girl was tightly closing her eyes as she had her hands up like the rest of the riders, but in the last car the story was completely different. A bowl hair cut teen was out of his seat with a drunken Bruce Lee face as he had his right foot in the face of a crying blonde teen covered in vomit with his mouth open in anguish.

_Splash._

The water cleared to a clean faced Naruto with a shoe print on the side of his face and a slowly recovering Lee who was back in his seat wondering what just happened. _I was just riding this youthful ride then nothing…I must ask Guy-Sensei! _"YOSH WE MUST GO AGAIN!" Naruto just slowly turned to face Lee and knocked him out with a thunderous punch to the dome as he was trying not to kill him. As the ride came to a complete stop and the safety restraints were raised, Naruto fireman carried Lee's body as he could only stare at the screen showing the picture completely emotionless as the experience was too traumatic for a single expression. _I just hope Neji and Shino aren't getting into trouble._

"KAITEN!" _ugh spoke to soon._ Naruto could only imagine why a Port a-Jon was now spiraling in the air and a mortified and pants less Neji was covered in poop as a silent Shino was nearby holding two popsicles staring at him.

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_Flashback 30 minutes ago_

Neji and Shino were now walking side by side along the board walk wondering what to do beside people watch and eat when Neji decided to start up a conversation. "How can these people participate in such folly?" Shino who had been looking out onto the sparkling sea faced Neji to talk to him. "Most people do not become ninjas but still enjoy going fast in absurd ways therefore these parks were created for those to experience high-speed travel for a short time." Neji could only sigh but nod at the Aburame's argument still not agreeing with it but seeing the logic in it at least.

"It is quite hot out perhaps we should get a pair popsicles to share as comrades?" Shino asked while Neji was struggling to keep his oxford on with the moon country's sweltering heat. "That sounds like a good idea however I have to use the restroom since the boat did not have one that was functioning." Shino nodded as he headed to a nearby stand while Neji headed to a pair of Port-a-Jons that were right next to each other.

Neji was wrapping up his business as he reached out to grab some toilet paper when he grabbed onto something soft yet hard. _What the hell… _Neji then looked at the piece of toilet paper covering the obstruction when he heard giggling from the other Port-a-Jon. "You could always cool off with my popsicle pretty boy…" Neji did not need to use the legendary byakugan to see what was going on here. _I'M IN A GLORY HOLE! _

"AHHHH KAITEN!" Neji's survival senses were in overdrive as adrenaline was slamming into all his nerves creating a massive expel of chakra never before matched in the previous times he had done the move. The giant spinning sphere of chakra easily ripped the foundation of both Port-a-Jons sending them spiraling in the air leaving the large amount of excrement in the air to fall on him and cover himself and his no longer pristine oxford. He failed to notice that he forgot to pick up his cargo shorts which were also covered in poop.

"So you probably do not want a popsicle then huh Neji?" Shino asked unblinking at the sight of his mortified and half naked comrade. Neji just turned slowly to Shino, looked down at the popsicles in his extended hands and quickly smacked them away quickly but still in shock as to what just happened. "Neji. Your shorts." Neji simply and quietly picked his shorts off the ground as the crowd surrounding him was deathly quiet.

_Squish._

People nearby could not hold back and quickly ran over to a railing on the pier and barfed at the horrendous sight and sound of this long haired teen's gross actions. Neji meanwhile began to walk off the pier to get a hot shower or 20 leaving Shino to stare at the other popsicle in his hand and chuck it into the ocean hoping to forget this terrible mission.

_Flashback End_

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_Current time_

Naruto could no longer handle what was the hell his team was, from the cow wrangling to the rapping to motion sickness to whatever this was, he was done, completely ready to just quit his dream of becoming ANBU and then Hokage. He slid Lee's body off his shoulder and dropped to knees squeezing his head hoping this would all go away and he was just dreaming all of this on the boat ride over here. However the strong stench and the sweltering heat were simply too much to ignore. _It's all real. Kami I am sorry for every prank I have ever done please just please stop. _

As if he had heard his prayers Lee began to wake up and shake his praying captain wondering what was going on. "Naruto. Naruto, come on Shino is coming. What happened?" Naruto slowly looked up at his teammates and sighed ignoring his momentary mental breakdown. "Guys…Team…whatever we are let's just go…" Naruto wordlessly walked off the pier as Shino and Lee quietly followed leaving still sick and shocked patrons on the pier of the beach side amusement park.

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_Moon Beach_

Naruto, Shino, and Lee met up with Neji at the hotel and pulled him out of his room as he was cradling himself to forget what happened earlier. The team changed into their swimming trucks and white tops with the sunglasses they wore from their time in Kumo. The plan was to forget the morning and save the day by, as Naruto said, get all the hotties at the beach.

They were all in lounge chairs relaxing in the chairs enjoying the breeze when Lee came up with a youthful idea to have a contest. "Yosh! We should have a youthful contest to see who could get the most amount of women." _With Guy-sensei's teachings I shall not fail! _Lee thought to himself but could not fight off bringing his fist in pure determination.

"Lee do not be ridiculous you could not attract women even if you had millions of ryo. I refuse to participate in your game." Neji finished as he pulled his towel over of his head and turned over to sleep in his chair. Naruto just nodded thinking he had this in the bag meanwhile Shino was sitting back completely relaxed knowing his secret weapon would win this contest.

"Yosh I shall go first!" Lee looked to his right and a little bit away was a woman in only a bikini walking with her dog and pointed at her. "See that woman over there? She likes dogs watch me appeal to that." Naruto, Shino, and even Neji was interested to see if Lee could pull this off even though the chances were incredibly low. He walked over to the woman and gave her his super special pose, creating sparkles around him. "Hey babe! My hot-blooded passion demands we experience the joys of youth together tonight, just you, your dog and me!" causing the woman to blink for a few seconds, processing what this weirdo just said.

Then it hit her like a freight train, "AHH! YOU PERVERT!" she yelled loud enough to alert the entire beach. She then ordered her dog to attack his 'special' area. This got Lee running as fast he could across the sandy beach throwing sand over the nearby loungers.

"I was just going to suggest that we go running together!" Lee shouted as he was running to save his butt. Naruto could not help but shout at Lee's running back, "YOSH! LEE IS ON FIRE! Hahaha" Neji and even Shino was laughing at that as Naruto was now standing up brushing off the sand that landed on him.

"Now watch a master at work." Shino and Neji just watched as Naruto silently pointed to a couple of 10s walking on the beach looking for a place to lie down and tan their amazing bodies. Naruto walked right by them letting his blond hair flow in the wind as he tried to look as hot as he could.

They could not have cared less.

Seeing that his first plan failed he decided to go to the big guns. "Excuse me ladies I was wondering if you would like to have the honor of having sex with me?" Naruto expected the usual begging to have his amazing skills be used all night leaving them wanting more and then they would even let him…

"Ugh what a weirdo Mei let's get out of here apparently all the weirdoes are out today." Mei could only nod as she and her friend were ready to leave when Naruto spoke up. "Wait, what me a weirdo? You guys are weird it's me you know like THE NARUTO UZUMAKI like the GREATEST LOOKING GUY IN THE WORLD. Don't you want to take me back to your hotel room and do the nasty?"

"What? You are like a 6 maybe a 7 g.t.f.o. (_Scoff)_ you serious believe you can walk up to us and get us in your bed by the end of the day and who the hell says 'do the nasty' you 12 year old?" They looked incredulously at the blonde in front of them wondering what dream world he was from.

"Ok. Ok I see it has to be this way I see." Naruto just nodded to himself ready to pull out his trump cards.

"How about a spar where the loser has to be the other's slave for a month?"

"We aren't ninja's and that sounds terrible you sicko!"

"Ok how about you give me a medical exam and stumble upon my massive pole?"

"I would not even touch you with a 10 foot pole and the only massive pole you have is the one up your ass thinking that your dick is that big."

"I had a terrible childhood so multiple women should love me with their bodies?" Naruto finished meekly not even believing what he just said.

"I'm sorry if that's true but that is so wrong I am not going to respond. Mei come on we need to find a place to sit away from this guy." They were walking away when Naruto yelled out a desperate attempt to get their attention.

"As long as I have a face you will always have a place to sit on!" The ladies just kept walking away as everyone was quiet wondering what mental illness that blonde teen must have. Naruto then fell to his knees as he gripped a fist full of sand and raged to the sky.

"BUT I ALWAYS GET THE BABES!" Shino got up to pull Naruto out of his crazed mumblings with a hand on his shoulder. "Shino…_sniff_… am I not the sexiest being in the universe?" Naruto looked up with tears in his eyes but, Shino just patted his always great captain's shoulder in comfort. "It matters not I believe it's my turn." Naruto whipped his tears away and nodded sitting next to Neji on the lounge chair.

Naruto shook off his brief moment of weakness and watched as Shino walked toward the water's edge nowhere near anyone seeing as they all left from Lee's and Naruto's earlier attempts. "Shino the game is over man it's only us on the beach. Why don't we just enjoy the quiet you like that don't you?" Shino just shook his head no as Naruto sighed knowing he could be as determined as Lee sometimes even if he does not show it.

"It will begin…now" Shino then pulled off his shirt showing off his ripped ninja body and pulled out his two secret weapons…two bottles of axe. "Shino don't it's far too powerful!" Naruto and Neji yelled trying to save their friend. Shino turned around and extended his arm with a thumb up. "I have too please forgive me." "Shino…"

"AHHH!" Shino then slammed down on the nozzle of the cans spraying the axe all over his shirtless body quickly rotating his arms as if he was defending against a rain of kunai. "IT'S NOT ENOUGH SHINO STOP YOU CAN'T DO THIS ALONE!" Naruto was ready to jump in to save his friend when Neji pulled him back as he recognized Shino's sacrifice.

"Faster…Even Faster…FASTER!" Shino's arms were now a blur as the axe now was a mist surrounding him. "NINJA ART: AXE ATTRACTION JUTSU!" Shino yelled out as the axe ran out and the skies became dark with storm clouds as this deadly kinjutsu activated. Naruto and Neji just stared at Shino in awe as he finished by dropping the cans into the shore and the earth shook with the stomping of thousands or even millions of women charging the beach from land, sky, and sea. "Shino…you did it…" Neji could only whisper in reverence.

"Look whatever happens next just remember…" The women were now seconds from pouncing on him. "I won." Shino then disappeared in the sea of women as neither Naruto nor Neji could see him. "SHINOOOOO!" Naruto yelled out ready to dive in to save him but Neji stopped him.

"It was his choice. He was… a hero." Naruto turned furious at his friend. "A HERO! Do you think he deserved this?" He pointed to the ever-growing pile of women. "He was a hero to all 12 year olds who think they smell good by spraying axe all over themselves and that it will get them laid."

Naruto just sniffed and nodded finally understanding why Shino laid down his life for. "You are right Neji come on we have work to do." Naruto said noting that the sun was indeed setting and it was time to go. "Shino come on." Shino then emerged from the pile after multiple body replacement jutsu later he was following his team mates to complete the mission they were sent here to do.

"You know we never said what the winner would receive at the end of the contest." Shino said as they were walking off the beach. Naruto just smiled and replied "Haven't you already gotten enough?" Shino just nodded while smirking to himself knowing he already received a great prize, friendship… and boobs they were great too.

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_Moon's Southern Forest_

Team Gamma was now decked out in their ANBU gear as they raced to find Shiki's house with the directions from the informant. Naruto and his team were focused, united, and prepared to take down any forces stopping them from getting their target. Shiki stood no chance against these trained ANBU… well ANBU in training but that is beside the point. Suddenly the forest was clearing up and they found themselves behind a white beach house if you could call it that. The house was more like a mansion!

_So this is what he spent his profits on? Man, this is too nice but it won't matter soon. _"Neji look around for any security nearby guards, dogs, cameras, anything." Naruto ordered to Neji who quickly activated his byakugan looking for anything that would expose his team._ What unbelievable! He thinks that highly of himself? _

Seeing his friend's expression Naruto decided to ask what was wrong. "Neji? What do you see?" Neji turned to his captain and reported exactly what he saw. "Nothing there is no security here no guards, dogs, or anything but I do see two people inside and it is safe to assume one of them is Shiki Houraisan." Naruto and the rest of the team was shocked that he would have nothing to defend himself with but then again it was an isolated safe house so they could see why he was a little lax.

"It matters not we must get going and scout out the home." With that Shino got the rest of the team moving. They stealth crawled toward the wall covering the main bedroom which was facing the ocean and they began to walk up the side of it with their charka and what they found was both funny and weird at the same time.

Shiki Houraisan, the largest drug dealer in all of the fire country was in a tight leather suit with his arms restrained and a red ball in his mouth as he was being lightly whipped by a horse tassel held by a gothic dominatrix.

"You are a naughty drug dealer aren't you…whip…huh tell me what you are scum!" She whipped him again as he whimpered under the "abuse" of the dominatrix and could only quickly nod in agreement with her previous statement.

Naruto did not know whether to laugh cry or both at the sight of the feared and elusive drug kingpin being dominated in such a… weird way.

So he and the team did both.

"HAHAHA OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE THAT!" Lee yelled out. The group had retreated into the forest surrounding the mansion and were on the ground rolling around. "If we were there for a few more minutes I could have sworn that he would have started to cry-read Green Eggs and Ham!" The laughter died down a few minutes later as Naruto took control of the group.

"Alright guys we will begin the raid around this time tomorrow and we enter through the window and hopefully we will capture him while he is sleeping or while he is…distracted. So let's get changed and go to the next attraction on the list!" The rest of the group was wearily looked at Naruto wondering why he had planned for them to do something else today after everything that already happened.

"Look it will be fun there will be no chance of anything going wrong." Neji however decided to voice his disproval. "Naruto I, I mean we, are tired where could we go now that everything is closed." Naruto just continued onto the hotel to shower and change.

"We are going into a trap."

"A trap Naruto?"

"Yes Lee. A trap and the only way to get out of it is through one thing." Naruto stopped and faced his team with a serious expression. All were on edge assuming they were entering the most dangerous part of their mission.

"Single ryo bills." The team was confused as to why they would need single ryo bills but just followed Naruto back to the hotel and prepared to enter this dangerous trap.

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_The Kunoichi's Trap_

"A strip club Naruto really?" Neji along with Lee and Shino were surprised to say the least as Naruto brought them to a fancy strip club with purple neon lights that had scantily-clad kunoichi posters on the side of the doors. Naruto however enjoyed the shocked and blushing faces of his team. He and Jiraya tended to frequent places like this as Naruto grew older and more interested in women.

"Come on you pansies! I will buy the first round of drinks and yes Lee I will get you water or whatever else you want." Naruto sprinted to the door and forced the group inside the club and immediately they were astounded by the club. There was an absolutely gorgeous woman dancing on the main stage while there were multiple chairs surrounding it and multiple booths where others were receiving lap dances.

"Welcome to the dangerous trap I had in mind. Come on I got us a private booth." Naruto pulled the group into a nearby booth and smirked knowing his plan was in motion. Sometime later a blonde came by to get drink orders and everyone except Lee got sake to distract themselves from any 'rising issues'. Naruto slapped Neji on the back to get his attention.

"Neji since you are the birthday boy I got you the first lap dance."

"but it's not my birth-"

"Bring over Jasmin!" Seconds later a thin yet deadly sexy kunoichi with brown hair buns and chocolate eyes approached Neji, meanwhile Neji could not help but notice the extreme similarities between the stripper and his teammate. _She looks exactly like Ten-Ten! If this a dream Kami don't wake me up! _Neji was now feeling that his pants were shrinking quickly, but before he could get too excited to where he would 'stick out' the Ten-Ten clone walked by and a much larger kunoichi who could have belonged to the Akimichi clan came over and began to strip for him.

Naruto acted quickly and put Neji in a nearby chair outside of the booth, Neji on the other hand was frozen solid as he had no idea how to handle the situation so he did what he could. Neji just sat there with his hands on his knees and was a solid brick wall. The woman however was having none of it so in an amazing feat of strength she put both of her feet around his neck and began to repeated slam his face into her fat ass without stopping for over a minute.

Thankful she could only keep that up only for a while meanwhile Neji was dazed as his face had been hit repeatedly by Jasmin's butt so much so he was not snapped back into reality until she basically dropped herself onto his lap and began grinding. Neji could only groan not in pleasure but pain as she was ruining his knees from any future use. 5 minutes later the lap dance ended and Jasmin left with a kiss to his cheek and a card with her phone number to call her.

"Well that was fun wasn't Neji?" Naruto commented between his fits of laughter knowing that this was plan all along. Neji was just spitting out a slew of curses at Naruto as Naruto made it up to him by dragging him to the main stage where the Ten-Ten clone was dancing. Shino and Lee followed in pursuit as they went into the front row where she was dancing.

Naruto pulled out a small stack of singles and gave him a clear command. "Go Neji. Go give her the money." Neji simply walked to the buned goddess with the money stack on his open palm heading towards her like a small child going to feed a goat. Neji made it to the stage and the kunoichi saw the money and the awed face, so she smirked and crawled over to him and picked up the money with one hand and ran her fingers through his long hair with the other.

She came close to his ear and whispered: "Thanks Neji-kun…" and with that she walked off the stage towards the back giving Neji a majestic view of her from behind and winked before disappearing behind a large curtain. While he had no idea how she knew his name; it did not matter since he was now passed out on the floor with a sudden nosebleed murmuring something about sexy weapon mistresses.

Suddenly all the rest of the girls disappeared as well, leaving them basically alone in the club with the bouncers. After a couple of minutes the team got bored waiting for something to happen so Naruto came up with an idea to make fun of himself so got up on the stage and started grinding on the pole.

"Hey guys don't be jelly of my mad pole dancing skills. I charge 100 ryo per minute so…"

All of a sudden a siren went off and the strippers charged back out onto the stage, encircling Naruto. They'd all changed into skimpy police costumes and a couple of them were carrying prop kunai. Naruto was nervous, thinking he'd broken some kind of rule about being on the stage. He looked over at the bouncers but they stayed where they were.

"Look I am sorry for being up here I will just go back to my seat." But before he could leave the stripper army pushed him up against the pole and tied his hands behind his back on the pole. They started dancing around him and removing their clothes. Just as he was relaxing, they whipped down his shorts and boxers, and turned him to face the rest of the team. Everyone in the club busted out laughing while Naruto was clearly mortified.

Naruto could not think of a way out now that his dick was getting hard in public since the dancers did not stop dancing around him and refused to untie him. "GUYS please get me out of here!" He pleaded to his team but Neji was still knocked out, Lee somehow left when Naruto was being tied up, and Shino was now heading towards the door with two dancers on his arms.

"Shino! Shino please." Shino stopped and turned toward the now completely naked Naruto as the dancers removed his shirt and began doodling on him, "I wouldn't worry about it taicho you will get out of there eventually. Believe it!" The girls giggled as he led them out the entrance leaving an embarrassed and mad Naruto to the devices of the strippers and a passed out Neji who was resting in a booth on the shoulder of the Ten-Ten clone. "DAMN YOU SHINO!"

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_The Next Day: Hotel_

Naruto woke up to a massive headache after all the drinks he downed in order to forget what happened the previous night but unfortunately that memory was going to stick with him for as long as he lived. After showering and getting dressed he went by Neji's and Lee's room waking them up and telling them to get themselves ready for the raid later today. He then approached Shino's room to find it unlocked.

_Strange. _ He opened the door and found himself seething in jealousy. Shino was there and he was definitely safe since he had five attractive body guards protecting him on all sides. _Kami does he even have a type. I mean seriously, a blonde, brunette, red head, a short cut blacked haired bombshell, and is that green hair? I swear he will get a STD that not even Baa-chan could heal._

Sensing Naruto's approach Shino lazily cracked open his right eye to look up at his captain's stern face. " Five seriously Shino? What was three or god forbid four ladies too little for you?" Shino did not respond but slide the green haired girl on his chest off and got his arms free from the tight grip of the other two.

"How was spending 300 ryo on that pole dance huh Naruto I am starting to think you are into to bondage?"

"How was spending thousands of ryo to pay for all these ladies?" Naruto shot back at Shino who was unfazed.

"I wouldn't know all I know is that it's about 7 ryo for a box of condoms from the price sticker on the box the blonde brought in for me." Naruto was done arguing seeing how he was both losing the conversation and his nerve around Shino. "Alright look we have to get ready for tonight man come on."

Shino understood the seriousness in Naruto's voice and understood that it was the last day on the island and the end to the mission they have been on for almost a month. "I will get ready and leave as soon as possible."

"Shino-sama~~" All the ladies were now up and cooing at Shino to return to bed with them, meanwhile Naruto awkwardly stood by wondering what mind washing technique Shino used to control these babes. Shino just chuckled and kissed them each on their forehead. "Sorry ladies duty calls but my friend here will provide for breakfast since he is the captain right taicho?" He said as he put his hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"Ugh fine! Just be ready when I contact you." Naruto stormed out ignoring all the girls saluting him as he left and the new round of giggles he heard as the door shut. _Any time now. I can get off this island and get back to my ramen…mmmhhh ramen…_

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_Southern Beach Shore- Night time_

Naruto and his team emerged from forest expressionless as it was no longer to time for play but for action. They silently and quickly set themselves on the wall leading up to the main bedroom. A few hand signs later Shino and Neji sprinted up to the top corners of the large window that looked over to the ocean and placed the charges. Immediately Naruto and Lee followed to the bottom corners and lined paper bombs along the corners similar to how Neji and Shino did.

_3.2.1. _"Go." The window blew out and Neji quickly cleared the house with his byakugan to verify that Shiki was the only one in the house. The team reassembled in front of the already subdued Shiki since he had done the pleasure of restraining himself in the leather outfit. Shiki spit the red ball out of his mouth and ready to begin his dialogue.

"Wait you seriously do this every night? You know what I don't even want to know."

"Ha! I knew the moment I left Kumo you would be coming…"  
>"OH MY GOD JUST SHUT UP! The amount of shit we went through to find you already tied up in an abandoned house with no guards and to find out the mysterious and powerful drug kingpin is a complete… goddamn it I can't even describe you I am sure even Lee is speechless. Lee?"<p>

"…"

"Alright well there you have it! Neji knock him out and let's get out of here." Neji quickly dashed forward and focused some chakra into Shiki's forehead causing him to black out. Naruto made a quick handsign and a shadow clone appeared only to look disgusted at his creator at the task he was made to perform. "My shadow clone will carry him to the ship that is a couple miles out to sea waiting on us. Come on we have a village to return home too." The five nodded to each other and quickly dashed out the mansion and onto the calm ocean under the bright light of the full moon.

"Well…holy shit it's been almost a month since we started this mission but we did it! Team Gamma not team Alpha!" Naruto handed out drinks to his teammates as they were ridding back to the village leaving Shiki in a locked room in the bottom of the boat.

"Yosh! We did it most youthfully!"

"Indeed we now have a full mission under our belt and that is something we should be proud of that."

"Yes team Gamma was fated to succeed in this mission."

"Cheers! And in the immortal of Jay-Z 'ON TO THE NEXT ONE!'" Team Gamma celebrated their first completed mission well into the night.

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**Honestly I am glad that I finally finished this chapter. The reason it took so long was because I was working with BarelyGhost on his story Ill-Fated which is shaping up to be killer so if you are more interested in dark Naruto fics then that is the story to check out. The secret reveal: expect there to be mad Haku and Naruto action and I do mean action (wink wink). Alright Peace!**

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**Sage's AMV Corner!**

Whoo the amount of AMVs are dwindling down so if I don't get any suggestions this section will come and go in future chapters but whatever its time for the good, bad, and the funny Naruto amvs on the internet.

**The Good: Naruto Shippuden AMV Lion (no more words) by ****AMVCentral**

- The editing is well done and the combination of great song choice and clear audio made this amv a triple threat to any competitors who even thought they could do better. I enjoy this amv for another reason that most people seem to forget when they make amvs: they get all their material from the same episodes. I say this because it seems like time I see a new amv it only consists of the Naruto and Sasuke fight in Naruto and Naruto Shippuden's OVA 8 both I thoroughly enjoyed but after you know the dozens amvs that only use those episodes it won't matter how you package it, it won't catch my eye so kudos to AMVCentral for using multiple sources from both Naruto series while making it awesome.

**The Bad: Naruto 10 Worst AMV'S by mikeynike81 **

- Well the title explains what the video is about but it actually doesn't. It is basically someone who picked 10 terrible songs that don't fit with Naruto and spliced random bits of Naruto and pressed play to record over the tape. If you want to, you can bring all your friends to watch Naruto clips to songs you have never heard of them then enjoy but I don't plan to waste 8 and a half minutes of my life on this video.

**The Funny: naruto shippuden sexy and i know by kelly bloomwood**

**- **Honestly who doesn't like LMFAO once in a while? The editing is decent but repetitive however the song is a great choice for the video but the main reason I choose Kelly is because he had the best audio quality as there are multiple other versions of this video but no one attributes to the original author. The fact remains that this is a funny amv you should check out and plus its short, only 2 minutes and 29 seconds I mean come on I would watch Sai in a Might Guy outfit for at least 5 minutes on a bad day!


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